Today, I was arguing with my husband how he has never told our son that he’s proud of him. Without missing a beat, he told me that when our son gets around to doing something he can be proud of, then he’ll tell him he’s proud of him. Our son is a university graduate and trainee doctor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son finally stood up to his bully and gave him a smashing that he damn well deserved. I’m desperate to tell him how proud I am, but my wife won’t let me because “we’re not raising a thug” and after 17 years of marriage, I’ve learned arguing with her is pointless. FML
Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML
Today, I overheard my son tell his dad that he’s in love. Without pause, my husband told him it’s temporary, it won’t last, relationships are pointless, women only cause grief, and money in the bank keeps a man warm at night better than any woman with cold feet. I’m trying not to feel insulted. FML
Today, I lashed out at the father of my son for not doing anything for the baby. He replied, “I never did shit for you to begin with, didn’t you watch the preview? You knew what you were getting yourself into.” FML
Today, for the first time in my life, my dad said he was proud of me. It meant a lot to me, and I started tearing up. Noticing my emotion, he looked at me pityingly, said "Aaaaand it's gone." and walked out of the room. FML
Today, I excitedly told my mom how I got accepted to the master’s program of my dreams. She decided now would be a good time to proudly repeat for the millionth time how she gave up a full ride to the Ivy League to marry my father, and I ought to be a "good woman" and do the same. FML
Today, my husband of four years finally told me he has an eight-year-old son. FML
Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML
Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML
Today, I got a text from my mom that said, "Your dad and I are so proud of you." Sweet, right? It was meant for my brother. FML
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Top comments
D J's MOM 17
let me guess... your son can literally save a life, but he can't change a tire or do his own oil change so ergo... he's useless. your husband is an ass.
poopface82 25
Did he ever score the game-winning touchdown in a high school football game? Even Al Bundy could do that. Seriously, though, take your husband and lock him in a room with my ex-wife and the strong smell of wet farts for a few days until he changes his attitude.
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Comments (3)
D J's MOM 17
let me guess... your son can literally save a life, but he can't change a tire or do his own oil change so ergo... he's useless. your husband is an ass.
RichardPencil 32
Trainee doctor? That's ok, I guess. But how much can he bench? Yeah, that's what I thought.
poopface82 25
Did he ever score the game-winning touchdown in a high school football game? Even Al Bundy could do that. Seriously, though, take your husband and lock him in a room with my ex-wife and the strong smell of wet farts for a few days until he changes his attitude.