Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blow job for the first time. He posted it on Facebook and can't understand why I'm angry with him. FML
Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, I was trying to explain to my mom that I've been having panic attacks. I ended up having a panic attack from talking about having a panic attack. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML
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Top comments
ImmaB3AST 7
what the hell are you? a vacuum cleaner?
chick011 0
Must have been really good?
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Comments (113)
avi1981 0
Was it that bad?
Veindetta 5
Aaah...I'll always like the irony behind bj FMLs that suck
sleepindevil 15
Did you suck or blow........
eurekaroy 6
Sounds like you made a good impression.
spicerack1528 3
Do you have braces? If so nuff said
EvilTeddysRock 2
Did it happen to involve a harmonica and a trip to the hospital?
onedayinamsterda 14
he might be the exception OP. gimme one and we'll re-evaluate.
ea49610 0
Well you know what they say "the more your suckin the faster his heart's pumpin"
K_kanaka 26
You'd think he would be really relaxed.
AmethystRain 20
This could be a number of things, like performance anxiety for one. Maybe he doesn't have much experience with girls and he was worried she'd think he's too small, or that he couldn't last long enough. I'd say have another go at it. If it was a just a one-time thing, then no big deal. But if it keeps happening, then maybe he's got some personal mental issues he needs to deal with.
Cinn_fml 23
^This.
drawmesunshine 17
Perhaps they were somewhere they shouldn't have been and he was afraid of getting caught?
cj7jeep 1
58- I know that story lol
Nublet 10
Actually, he is dealing with mental problems. He went to the doctor about this and she told him it wasn't that unusual to have panic attacks when getting sexually aroused when you're suffering from depression. I just thought my head was that freaky. Yow!