Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sitting down in the hallway at school. As I tried to get up, I lost my balance and fell against a hand sanitizer dispenser. It then continued to squirt sanitizer all over the back of my shirt, drenching the whole left side. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom and slipped on some soap on the floor while I was washing my hands. As I fell, I grabbed the nearest thing to break my fall, which happened to be the hand dryer. It fell off the wall and hit me in the face. FML
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML
Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML
Today, I said hi to my coworker and she immediately yelled, "Get your gross unwashed hands out of my face!" I wash my hands compulsively and they were nowhere near her face. FML
Today, I was taking a shower in a hostel when the girl in the cubicle next to mine decided to blow her nose onto the shower floor. The water from her cubicle was flowing into mine and I ended up standing in a puddle of fresh watery snot. FML
Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in my workplace's bathroom and caught my reflection in the mirror. I had toothpaste smeared all over my cheek. I spent the rest of the day wondering how many people had noticed and said nothing. FML
Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML
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Top comments
sthrr 6
I don't think you wanna know.
perdix 31
Pussy juice -- she was masturbating in there. She must be a squirter.
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Comments (87)
ChrisLTC 3
finger licking good!
VirgoKisses 0
piss!!u got a golden drizzle lmao
InvisibleReign 0
Definitely not water?
atthegates 0
^ made my day
KiddNYC1O 22
Squirters ftw.
spearhead 5
lol
emodude44 0
Hot!
perdix 31
Pussy juice -- she was masturbating in there. She must be a squirter.
Fici 0
I was gunna say that dick lol
MillerP 0
um... just wondering, but if he's a guy, why was a girl coming out of the bathroom when he's goin in?
mzeemzima 0
ughh u got tranny cum in yo face dats nasty man go dip your face in acid
kristelle_fml 0
97 it was probably a multigender singular bathroom, like some gas stations have
nimzie 0
ikr...but that's gross
bunniex1 11
the fml doesn't specify gender, it could be a girl.
krushr 3
Congratulations! You've just had your first golden shower.
bossybella 0
lol
Oz87 5
hahahahahhaahhhaahahahhaahahahahahahahahahhhahahhaha
dancer_2014 0
ewwww!
Pb25797051 0
****** juice, apple juice, toilet juice, water juice
sheenamaedc09 0
mhm... first FML with no FML at the end... anyway the liquid might probably be handsanitizer just to make you feel better...
Hillary94 0
Ew...
InsertGirder 6
No "FML" on the end! ERROR! ERROR! Can not compute! ERROR! Rebooting FML...
throwsomeglitter 0
You just got shit-faced.