Today, I was sitting down in the hallway at school. As I tried to get up, I lost my balance and fell against a hand sanitizer dispenser. It then continued to squirt sanitizer all over the back of my shirt, drenching the whole left side. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML
Today, I was in a public restroom and slipped on some soap on the floor while I was washing my hands. As I fell, I grabbed the nearest thing to break my fall, which happened to be the hand dryer. It fell off the wall and hit me in the face. FML
Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML
Today, I was in music class and I was reaching for the pen I'd dropped, I tilted myself, gripping my left hand on the table, and the person beside me pulled my arm for some reason, and my face fell into their lap. Right on the crotch. It reeked of sweat. FML
Today, I tried to open my water bottle, which is like trying to open a pickle jar, and after several seconds, it exploded all over my desk and clothes. Then, when I was going to get paper towels and a change of clothes, I slipped on the puddle and hit my head on my desk as I came crashing down. FML
Today, I had to call poison control on one of my students, because they decided to drink a half a bottle of hand sanitizer. FML
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML
Today, I was at assembly in school. My friend had a water bottle. It was a squirt bottle, and he squirted me, over and over. I got ticked off, so I took it away from him, but when I took the bottle I squeezed it and it squirted all over the people in front of me. The principal saw, and I got in trouble. FML
Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML
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Top comments
arandomperson97 19
Today, I, a germ, moved onto a new host bodies back with my germ family. All was going well until he leaned on the hand sanitizer dispenser. I am the only survivor. FML
hipposteve 21
Mr. Clean, Mr. Clean
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Comments (29)
RickySleeves 20
Smooth.
arandomperson97 19
Today, I, a germ, moved onto a new host bodies back with my germ family. All was going well until he leaned on the hand sanitizer dispenser. I am the only survivor. FML
ThrottleJockey 36
I am Germ. Great movie.
ScarletSarah 19
Yes 99.9% of them died on this tragic day
fakedsincerity 32
RIP germ family. ):
momac86 17
That. was. awesome. This germ deserves an FML
NostalgiaFreak9 43
5/10 Never forget
ccameron12 21
That's to bad. Is there a gym shirt you could wear instead?
mds9986 24
At least you're back is germ free.
hipposteve 21
Mr. Clean, Mr. Clean
tylerbobsquare 13
I'm curious as to how you got the thing to squirt more than once to drench yourself in sanitizer?? Whenever I try to use the thing, I'm lucky if it squirts once.
SarrittaRox 4
Since sanitizer has such a high alcohol content, your shirt should dry in a matter of minutes or so
False_Stupidity 42
And smell good too!
gingerlover01 24
this FML defies logic
leadmenot 11
At least one side of you is disinfected
dutchy86 20
looks like a dispenser bukakke?