Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sitting down in the hallway at school. As I tried to get up, I lost my balance and fell against a hand sanitizer dispenser. It then continued to squirt sanitizer all over the back of my shirt, drenching the whole left side. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom and slipped on some soap on the floor while I was washing my hands. As I fell, I grabbed the nearest thing to break my fall, which happened to be the hand dryer. It fell off the wall and hit me in the face. FML
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML
Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML
Today, I said hi to my coworker and she immediately yelled, "Get your gross unwashed hands out of my face!" I wash my hands compulsively and they were nowhere near her face. FML
Today, I was taking a shower in a hostel when the girl in the cubicle next to mine decided to blow her nose onto the shower floor. The water from her cubicle was flowing into mine and I ended up standing in a puddle of fresh watery snot. FML
Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in my workplace's bathroom and caught my reflection in the mirror. I had toothpaste smeared all over my cheek. I spent the rest of the day wondering how many people had noticed and said nothing. FML
Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML
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Top comments
sthrr 6
I don't think you wanna know.
perdix 31
Pussy juice -- she was masturbating in there. She must be a squirter.
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Comments (87)
Zmeilerr 22
That's it! I'm calling an exterminator for that damn comment bug!
gusgus36 5
I think it was water. the sink worked enough for some water to come out but enough to actually wash her hands well. so she needed hand sanitizer to get them clean. no big deal
arden11 0
maybe she saw some land on you so she said that to make it sound like it was piss.
mumumelon 3
am I the only one that noticed that there's no "FML" at the end of this?
neondeath 0
uhhhh ya u are...cuz there is a FML
Cmliedtke 0
yes there is...
varkey 7
lol wtf??? omg that's weird FYL
neondeath 0
lol maby it was hot or cold water and the other temperature didn't work so she didn't whant to wash her hands in ice cold water or steaming hot water? so it was probably the water she used than relized
phorest 0
Hey I moderated this one :D.
reinmon88 0
more than likely piss or liquid shit landed on your face
nanotide 0
so you were going to the womens restroom?
cosmopolite_fml 0
She probably put soap in her hands and tried to rinse it off just to find the sink was broken. Of course, that's just a logical thought. Why wouldn't you automatically assume she had piss all over her hands? That's a normal reaction.