Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. Now my back is in agonizing pain, and I can barely walk. FML
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML
Today, I went in for an interview. While I was waiting to be called, I used the restroom. When I stood up to wipe, I slipped on the floor and fell ass first into the unflushed toilet. I was found an hour later, covered in my own shit and too injured to move. FML
Today, I sneezed and shit myself in bed. It was the first time I'd ever slept at my girlfriend's house, and probably the last as well. FML
Today, at 6 in the morning, I sneezed so hard I fell off my bed. I guess I'm up for the day. FML
Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML
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Top comments
quickbarn 0
Here is the good part, your wife loves you a lot!
redlipsalsa 0
Disc herniation can result in a broken/chipped spinal level, which can severely damage or impinge upon the spinal cord. Unfortunately the #1 sign of spinal cord damage is involuntary excretion and urination. Either way that suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks!
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Comments (69)
jku 14
Gosh, I'm glad your wife helped you out like this! She must know you'd do the same for her. :) Or at least I would hope you would.
finalcountdown 3
Well that sounds.....painful and embarrassing...:/
doumtabarnack 12
Laughed so hard I herniated my back.
Clubkicker_fml 0
This is also your wife's FML, yuck and crongrats for finding that special someone who will clean shit and piss off you in your rime of need
wow25 3
its so nice of your wife to do that for your :)
dannyboy59 0
You sneezed so hard you shit yourself- just die & get it over with
AlexNewberg 1
wtf how does he deserve it it's not his fault if you sneeze and **** your back up if you do think he somehow deserves it your stupid
thatKellykid 12
They escalated fast...
Door_Productions 19
How does he deserve this?? FYL OP I hope you've recovered
alyKATANA1 12
You poor thing! That's horrible! But look on the bright side, your wife is a keeper :)