Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey, except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom laughed about hearing me singing in the shower and told our whole family. I wasn't singing, though. I was masturbating. FML
Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML
Today, I was singing Alicia Keys in the shower and hitting the insanely high notes. My father ran into the bathroom and threw open the shower door, screaming. He thought I was wailing in pain. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
Today, my dad got me to dance with him. After about a minute of waltzing to a song on the radio, he stepped away and said, "You smell bad. You need to take a shower." FML
Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened, I slipped and fell in the shower, and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered, "Well, she's masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!" FML
Today, I woke up early. As I was just about to fall back asleep, I was re-awoken to the sound of my parents doing it in the shower. FML
Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML
Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML
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Top comments
jackiemora 18
Hey at least your parents are together and enjoying each other. You don't get that too much anymore especially some of the stories you read on here.
anon80214 15
That's when you hurry up getting ready and get the hell out of there. FYL.
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Comments (70)
heartemopants 18
It's nice to know that some parents are still in that gross lovey dovey stage. It's better when it's not your own parents tho... So sorry for the trama
akiahara 14
I think this is hilarious. Invest in headphones and be glad your parents still like each other.
perdix 31
Thank goodness it was your mom and not the neighbor lady. Only close family members should be subjected to Journey!
Enslaved 38
Well, if he was alone, he'd be sing Billy Squire's-- "The Stroke".
Capt_Oblivious 10
Or the Kinks - Lola But that would require another form of company
perdix 31
#17, with Mom there, I'm thinking Lil' Wayne's "Whistle" song would be more emotionally scarring to the OP. Especially when the OP goes to give Mom a good-night kiss.
Eells92 7
Flo rida
mn_shr 22
This brought tears to my eyes from the laughter fit I went into after I read this. Thank you
challan 19
I was singing, "Doin' da butt!!"
Capt_Oblivious 10
What what?
Capt_Oblivious 10
At least it wasn't "The dick on this guy feels a burnin" That would be substantially more awkward.
ozpunker 20
I'd never want to use that shower again.
Adhdkid107 9
Oh well you always want to her that coming your parents.
krapula 4
Well... How do you think you we're created?
akiahara 14
Only works for 80s babies.
Raesin 21
Your parents still love each other and obviously have a healthy love life and still find each other attractive. Poor you OP.
killerdragon82 4
I feel bad for you