Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read, "My mom's a total pedo," after which she mentioned the talk. Her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I gave my 16 year-old step-daughter and her friends a lecture on respecting other people's privacy. Two hours later, I accidentally walked into her room without knocking. She and her friends were giving each other bikini waxes. Now her friends call me "the hypocritical pervert." FML
Today, some girl's mom gave me a load of abuse for endangering her daughter's health. How? By deleting my Facebook account, which caused her to have a serious panic attack. Apparently she thought we were best friends, and that I was ditching her. I'm confused too. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, I sat my mom down to tell her I was pregnant, but before I could say anything, she started to lecture me on safe sex. I don't see this ending well. FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with, "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
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Top comments
pistachiopanda 19
Just leave some pamphlets about giving your child up for adoption lying around.
iAlissa 34
You have an immature and shallow daughter.
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Comments (149)
taterrtots 25
sounds like your daughter's friend's mom failed a little bit too.
AnthonyWheeler15 24
She needs another talk
Laxoxo224 8
Have her watch ****
MissCharlotte_fml 26
Call me crazy, but I feel like that would make it worse.
DenBriZel 31
Are you serious? This is one of the most extremely retarded comments I've seen in awhile. Please don't have children
glamorous18 10
**** doesn't teach you how to make love. it teaches you how to mindlessly **** the shit out of a person (or multiple) with absolutely no respect or emotion involved. that's why this world is ****** these days.
etishuman22 32
Your daughter clearly doesn't appreciate the concern you have by giving her "the talk". Growing up in an Catholic family meant no one taught me about anything, my mom was even uncomfortable taking about periods with me when I was 13 and needed guidance. I would have killed to have my mom talk with me like you did with your daughter, OP. So despite what she thinks, I say well done.
Alihb 16
Growing up in a Chatolic family doesnt give your parents an excuse. It was just a bit of really bad parenting on their part.
threer 30
Never got help with periods, sex talks, responsibility , etc. My parents just didn't care and I turned out fine. Right..? Right?!?
etishuman22 32
#72 you're right, I guess it's just that despite their mistakes they still were very awesome parents. I went to a Catholic high school and found out that a bunch of my girlfriends went through the same thing. We just chalked it up at the time to being Catholic because we always joked about "that shit you just don't talk about".
aaaa_fml 13
That's an easy one to deal with. Facebook is not a necessity or a right, and you're the parent. Take that shit away.
miaoucore 13
whenever she quits being ignorant and has realized that you bring up that one time she made that post to tease her c;
ty7in_topic 31
Sorry OP. In today's society it's hard to educate your children before media and/or their friends.
EvilLittleMan 23
You haven't failed as a parent, it's the Sue Happy mentality of the entitlement generation in our society. I feel for that little winch that made the remark. She's in for a serious reality check in the future and I sure as hell would love to be a fly on the wall when that happens.
NatalieOntheTram 11
I'm hoping that it's just a joke, for your sake. You were being a responsible parent , OP. Though clearly, your daughter is too immature for sex anyways.
rfid_fml 13
Wow, your daughter is an idiot. take away her web privileges, her phone, and any creature comforts. Make sure she knows that you can give, and also take away. Note, go take a long look at her grades. I'm willing to bet she is near failure.