Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read, "My mom's a total pedo," after which she mentioned the talk. Her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I gave my 16 year-old step-daughter and her friends a lecture on respecting other people's privacy. Two hours later, I accidentally walked into her room without knocking. She and her friends were giving each other bikini waxes. Now her friends call me "the hypocritical pervert." FML
Today, some girl's mom gave me a load of abuse for endangering her daughter's health. How? By deleting my Facebook account, which caused her to have a serious panic attack. Apparently she thought we were best friends, and that I was ditching her. I'm confused too. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, I sat my mom down to tell her I was pregnant, but before I could say anything, she started to lecture me on safe sex. I don't see this ending well. FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with, "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
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Top comments
pistachiopanda 19
Just leave some pamphlets about giving your child up for adoption lying around.
iAlissa 34
You have an immature and shallow daughter.
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Comments (149)
SexPot143 13
YDI for letting her have a facebook at that age
SilverInGray 25
She's probably at least 13 or 14, and that's old enough to have one.
Liphaem5 22
If she's 13 or 14, she should have had the talk years ago..
Alihb 16
Im looking for the girls age.in the FML, but I cant find it.
EmmaMK 35
She will regret her post in a few days. She may if been a bit embarrassed. If only more people would "have the talk" with there kids.
etishuman22 32
That's where I am. I wish my parents would have talked to me. We did just have an awkward discussion about the ***** they found in my bedroom when they renovated my room as a surprise when I was away...that was fun..
Vilsitior_93 12
Clearly her friends' parents failed as parents, but yeah you did too but I'm sure you did a better job than her friends' parents..
melody309 35
"Well her parents failed, and you did too, but don't worry - you didn't fail as bad as them!" Okay.
thatgirlincali 13
Clearly your daughter isn't mature enough to have sex anyways If she makes a Facebook status about something that most kids have to endure.
chillnhill 24
and why haven't you cut off her Internet and cell phone access?
frizz101 22
Sorry OP, you didn't fail so much as a parent, but maybe she should lose some of her privileges for a while, and maybe you should look into the friends she has or talk to there parents.
SaturnV 25
Unless this is a behavioral irregularity, I have a hard time believing that a child who is accustomed to consistent rules and boundaries would post something so outrageous and insulting about her mother on Facebook without fearing serious consequences. I'm not sure how old your daughter is, but if you're doubting your parenting methods as you allude in the FML, it may not be too late to implement some changes. Make it absolutely clear to her that her access to Facebook (and everything else she enjoys) is contingent upon responsible use and meeting your expectations of her (behavioral, academic, domestic, etc). If you follow through by swiftly punishing infractions with perfect regularity, she may think twice before acting out again. I know it won't be easy at first, but you'll both be better off in the long run for it. Best of luck, OP!
ILAB56 7
You certainly have let your child grow up with you being the 'disengaged parent type' OP, if your child is exhibiting that kind of behavior in response to your supposedly effective, but clearly ineffective talk. You need to learn how to better set in harsher, more authoritarian ground rules if you want your kid to stop acting like a spoiled brat and realize everyone has to go through what she did.
tayraaah 31
Your daughters friend sounds just as bad as her.
worldclassrager 41
I guess the times wasn't right...