Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read, "My mom's a total pedo," after which she mentioned the talk. Her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I gave my 16 year-old step-daughter and her friends a lecture on respecting other people's privacy. Two hours later, I accidentally walked into her room without knocking. She and her friends were giving each other bikini waxes. Now her friends call me "the hypocritical pervert." FML
Today, some girl's mom gave me a load of abuse for endangering her daughter's health. How? By deleting my Facebook account, which caused her to have a serious panic attack. Apparently she thought we were best friends, and that I was ditching her. I'm confused too. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML
Today, I sat my mom down to tell her I was pregnant, but before I could say anything, she started to lecture me on safe sex. I don't see this ending well. FML
Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML
Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with, "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
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Top comments
pistachiopanda 19
Just leave some pamphlets about giving your child up for adoption lying around.
iAlissa 34
You have an immature and shallow daughter.
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Comments (149)
musikchik 6
I say failing as a parent would be LETTING her say that crap. Being a parent, you should have a very serious talk about what she put on FB. My daughter will never be allowed to talk crap about me on FB and if she does, I'll take computer privileges away. Be a parent now.
phoneYuNOlisten 16
How is it sexual harassment?
Slawter16 24
It's not, OP's daughter's friend was being an idiot.
beclaurela 18
So have all the other parents. I'm sorry she's so....stupid.
jamnglamgirlie 17
I honestly don't think this is your fault. Kids these days are starting to learn this stuff from each other, and from songs and music videos. You can't really control outside influences. Also since this is the way they're learning about sex they think they know everything about it when they haven't even scratched the surface.
Marie314 17
This makes me wonder just how far you went into detail about the birds and the bees
TheDoctor10 28
I'm starting to understand the guy that shot his daughter's laptop.
lesley3r3 22
Lmfao oh you peado
skyeyez9 25
Either your kid is over reacting, or you creeped her out by going into too much detail.
ElvisChrist6 4
"Clearly I've failed as a parent"... yes, but not for the reasons you think. Not old enough to know about sex already, but has a Facebook? That she can post on while you're not watching?
CamdenMarie 6
Get on her Facebook, write a status as her saying that she's immature and clearly not adult enough to handle the PRIVILEGE of constant Internet access, therefore she will be taking an extended break from it until she's grown up a little. Then change her password.