Today, I'd been sat in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars, and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through, I heard a tap on my driver's window. It was a police officer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML
Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML
Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML
Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We started going at it and we were both butt naked when I saw a car pull into the lot. Not only was it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asked my girlfriend was, "Are you being held against your will?" FML
Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML
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Top comments
imversatile 0
How in the world did you think nobody would see you?? Doesn't your car have windows like the rest of us?
Sora_fml 0
lmao, shoulda told him that it itched, you were just scratching. Or ask if he wanted to join in.
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Comments (149)
harry13th 0
hahahaha thats hilarious, what did the cop do? did he give u a ticket?
McLaughlane 0
sorry, but you totally deserved that one. lol.
dpressedninja 0
just... why?
courtneyissofuck 0
i do that ALLL the time!!
Cloudy_fml 0
#38, when did the OP say they went to jail?
mleeb 0
I mean, you TOTALLY deserved this, but I feel bad for you. NOT because you got caught, but because you weren't actually "doing the dirty." As everyone always says, your hand doesn't count, even if it does get you written up.
CherishFlowers 0
Ew, gross. If I was the cop I wouldn't want to go up and tap on someone's glass who was masturbating...
mcnordan 0
I don't get it. What did you do wrong? You were in the privacy of your car.
genius_man16 1
that's what's baffling me. I mean it's not indecent exposure or anything. WTF?
taybear0 14
i think it would be considered dangerous to engage in sexual activity while operating a vehicle
shitfaece 0
#26: Post a scan of it on reddit or something!
aew002 0
It's not "privacy of your own car" when everyone can see you doing it! Have you ever been in a traffic jam? You have a clear line of sight into everyone's cars. Some people might have had kids with them in the car. Try explaining THAT one to your little Johnny who's only in first grade.