Today, I'd been sat in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars, and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through, I heard a tap on my driver's window. It was a police officer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML
Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML
Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML
Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We started going at it and we were both butt naked when I saw a car pull into the lot. Not only was it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asked my girlfriend was, "Are you being held against your will?" FML
Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML
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Top comments
imversatile 0
How in the world did you think nobody would see you?? Doesn't your car have windows like the rest of us?
Sora_fml 0
lmao, shoulda told him that it itched, you were just scratching. Or ask if he wanted to join in.
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Comments (149)
mikelc 0
Fairly dumb, since there's so much traffic around. Not the worst idea on it's own if you can manage it. You might want to pull over on on some desolate side street and park where there is the least amount of lighting. Or, do it on a straightaway on the Alaska Highway.
missprincess05 0
Oh my god. Why would u put a pic of yourself nude??? Oh yeah cover up your penis like it helps! Some kids go on this. No one wants to see your itty bitty ok dude! Ps ur as ugly as hell so go show it off to your mom not the Internet pervert!! Pps get a gf oh wait u can't! Haha
Sean123 0
thank you #16 its not like you were walking down the street doin it and so wat like the police man is going to complain and ask you not to do it again
dumkopf0 0
this is stupid.
mariposa93 0
I don't understand everyone saying "that's disgusting." You must lead incredibly boring lives. I've done it several times. Never STOPPED in traffic though. You don't become invisible in your car. It's definitely easier for us girls though.
Brainnnnz 19
I'm sure it is.
Kyothine 0
#3
BeautyAndBrains 0
LOL, you have guts girl! Hopefully you won't get into too much trouble.
egaonogenki 0
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD GET ON THE INTERNET FROM JAIL!!!!!!!!!! Or you hid your mobile phone when they processed you and are texting from your cell, right???
ItsJustMe17 9
dude. he didn't say he got arrested
skyttlz 32
nor did he say he didn't.
iammeanttolive 0
That's just stupid.
shon12293 0
that is the most ****** up shit ever!!!
bunthorne 0
#31, I happen to think it's really sad that you can't imagine masturbation without visual stimulus. Sounds like you completely lack imagination.