Today, I'd been sat in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars, and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through, I heard a tap on my driver's window. It was a police officer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML
Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML
Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML
Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We started going at it and we were both butt naked when I saw a car pull into the lot. Not only was it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asked my girlfriend was, "Are you being held against your will?" FML
Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML
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Top comments
imversatile 0
How in the world did you think nobody would see you?? Doesn't your car have windows like the rest of us?
Sora_fml 0
lmao, shoulda told him that it itched, you were just scratching. Or ask if he wanted to join in.
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Comments (149)
boxxyroxor 0
why is this such a big deal? It's not like his **** was being broadcast on the highway. Really, it's just funny, I can't believe how many people are so offended, chill out, damn.
themanistheman 0
i can't believe how many people are just like oh yea man its all good, i do that all the time.. wtf? i mean its cool and all to be horny.. jack off until you shoot blanks and then some more if you want, but do it in your room or something.. i dont even think i could get off stuck in traffic lol.. this deserves a huge fml, and a bigger haha.
ms_876 0
dude. SERIOUSLY? gross. you are aware people can see you when you're in the car, right? lmao at #79
Laurenxo 0
El oh el you should have asked him to help.
nonymous_fml 0
Um, yeah, cars do have windows. Just to let you know.
maiden_girl 5
LMAO @ #1. That's what I thought...
shibby123 0
i just spilt my coke laughing. okay....well yeah that really SUCKS. but still, virtually everyone does it and hopefully u wont see that police officer again :)
a2thashley 0
What about traffic got you off?...
superson_fml 0
Uggggggh I hate cops
hahamylmao 0
i heard that there had been ***** in a car having sex in a neighbourhood where all these kids were playing. i don thtink this is worse