Today, I watched my boyfriend pick all the dead skin off of his feet, and then fling it at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I watched my husband pick his dead foot skin and say, "That's a keeper!" before putting it in his mouth. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a foot massage. I learned that his feet are ticklish when he kicked me in the face. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend about my foot phobia. To help me "get over it", he took his socks off, pinned me down, and rubbed his foot against my face until I started sobbing. FML
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML
Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML
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Top comments
Starfire22 5
Nice, nothing gets me in the mood more then having dead skin flinged at me... what a romantic!
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Don't you mean ex-boyfriend?
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Comments (117)
shutyerpiehole 0
that is so freaking gross
shutyerpiehole 0
starefire--flung, not flinged.
MangeMoi_fml 0
Thats what yu get for watching him "fling" it at yu.
jeaniechic 0
that's pretty gross but you couldve just gotten up and walked away. -_-
justanotherhuman 21
This seems like one of those things that should be clarified between two consenting individuals. I'm not of the mind every parameter of a relationship should be fleshed out in a contract, but... isn't this activity the kind of thing that might be possible to infer based on other behaviors? So, unless this is one of those things you're into, it strikes me as more of an FYL for your b/f for being a tool, and a little more towards YDI in your case for being involved with someone of eccentric podiatric habits. Who is also a tool. All I'm asking is "were you surprised?" If yes, then yuck. Yuck. And this from a foot-fetishist, so debate the bias as you wish.
gazelle_fml 0
that's ******* sick!!!!
Danielt104 6
Okay. For everyone saying YDI because she watched him throw dead skn at her, you need to re-read the FML. She said she watched him the dead skin off THEN he threw it at her. He probably peeled it all off, and then threw all the pieces at her at once.
cyngar7 0
gross.....:)
Valter 0
How is this garbage an FML? Stupid moderators.
starlitgrl 0
dump him, he's just gross. where is the intimacy in ur relationship? has it been reduced to watching that and getting flinged at?