Today, at the crack of dawn, I started a 700-mile road trip with my three children. So far, I've stopped four times, settled several arguments, cleaned up spilled yogurt and melted silly putty. 130 miles down, 570 to go. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm on a road trip with my wife and in-laws. After 8 hours of driving we stopped at a hotel to rest overnight. I was elected to go to the grocery store to get dinner. While I was gone, they ate at a restaurant without me. I spent $80 on groceries for the trash can. FML
Today, I'm travelling across the country with my family. My grandma thought it would be a good idea to take her shoes off. It's been 5 minutes and my eyes are watering from the stench. We still have over 200 miles left until we get home. FML
Today, I'm going on an 8-hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML
Today, my family is on the third day of driving cross country. My husband is still pretending he is driving on a NASCAR track, sound effects and all. FML
Today, my sister and I drove 800 miles with her five-year-old, her two-year-old, and her two dogs. The two-year-old got carsick five times, adding an extra three hours to the trip. The kicker? My sister is sympathy spewer and neither of them chews food very well. FML
Today, I flew 1800 km with my two small children to a remote northern village for work. Our bags were lost, leaving us without winter gear and only one change of clothes. Just to make things extra fun, we now all have uncontrollable vomiting and diarrhea. FML
Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML
Today, after driving 900 miles, the tongue on my trailer broke ten miles away from home. I was stuck on the side of the road for 3 hours. FML
Today, I was on a long road trip with my son. He had to pee, and told him he had to wait till I could stop the car. He started counting backwards from 10. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, while on a road trip, I stopped at a gas station and told my kids to go to the restroom. My youngest daughter said, "I had to go earlier, but not anymore." FML
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Top comments
worly 1
Are we there yet?!
Mumbellosity711 0
ydi for going on a SEVEN HUNDRED MILE ROAD TRIP.
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Comments (165)
KTpants 0
If you are driving then how did you write this...
skullbashd 3
rest atop fr iPhone
ArtIsResistance7 1
"Don't make me turn this car around!"
Raleigh_bruh 7
Aha. :P
MaxSnacks 0
Raleigh, dude, I'm digging your tie.
Raleigh_bruh 7
Appreciate that, sir.
MaxSnacks 0
Totally, Bruh.
CurseYourLove 0
wow um nice have fun with that :P
EBrennan 0
good luck, sleeping pills or drowsy pills are wonders
hghiPigh 0
you definitely deserve it. you know your kids are brats.. who in their right mind would go on a 700 mi road trip with them? either discipline them, or don't come crying to fml lady
aardvarkish 17
give them all two benadryls
kruzito 0
700 is not that bad
The_Fonz_fml 0
or is it? but again I ask why so many FMLs come from nord-pas-de-Calais france
Raleigh_bruh 7
So many Fmls come from France because it's the default choice when the moderators don't know where exactly the Fml was written. Or so the moderators say.
CrazyCatCookin 0
36 Will you still be saying that when you meet your 700 lb future wife?
The_Fonz_fml 0
thank you raliegh
nature_girl_08 14
700 miles is about an 11 hour drive. not that bad by your self, but annoying with screaming children. OP, you should know how children are when confined in a car for very long. If you knew how your children behaved, then you should not have planned an 11 hour drive with them, as they obviously are not old enough to handle it yet. Just pull over to a rest stop and spank them, or threaten to take them back home. always worked with my brother and i. of course, when we were with my grandparents, they usually gave us benedril to make us sleepy...;
ily4life 0
that sux a normal 8-9 hour drive taking probably 12-15 haha good luck
Namenlos_fml 20
You kinda deserved that... one kid on a road trip is bad enough.
ROFLBERRYPIE 0
YDI for reproducing