Today, at the crack of dawn, I started a 700-mile road trip with my three children. So far, I've stopped four times, settled several arguments, cleaned up spilled yogurt and melted silly putty. 130 miles down, 570 to go. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm on a road trip with my wife and in-laws. After 8 hours of driving we stopped at a hotel to rest overnight. I was elected to go to the grocery store to get dinner. While I was gone, they ate at a restaurant without me. I spent $80 on groceries for the trash can. FML
Today, I'm travelling across the country with my family. My grandma thought it would be a good idea to take her shoes off. It's been 5 minutes and my eyes are watering from the stench. We still have over 200 miles left until we get home. FML
Today, I'm going on an 8-hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML
Today, my family is on the third day of driving cross country. My husband is still pretending he is driving on a NASCAR track, sound effects and all. FML
Today, my sister and I drove 800 miles with her five-year-old, her two-year-old, and her two dogs. The two-year-old got carsick five times, adding an extra three hours to the trip. The kicker? My sister is sympathy spewer and neither of them chews food very well. FML
Today, I flew 1800 km with my two small children to a remote northern village for work. Our bags were lost, leaving us without winter gear and only one change of clothes. Just to make things extra fun, we now all have uncontrollable vomiting and diarrhea. FML
Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML
Today, after driving 900 miles, the tongue on my trailer broke ten miles away from home. I was stuck on the side of the road for 3 hours. FML
Today, I was on a long road trip with my son. He had to pee, and told him he had to wait till I could stop the car. He started counting backwards from 10. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, while on a road trip, I stopped at a gas station and told my kids to go to the restroom. My youngest daughter said, "I had to go earlier, but not anymore." FML
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Top comments
worly 1
Are we there yet?!
Mumbellosity711 0
ydi for going on a SEVEN HUNDRED MILE ROAD TRIP.
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Comments (165)
OhKayleeeXD 0
Kids are ******* retarded, I hate them. If I were you, I'd duck tape their mouths shut & throw them in the trunk.
CrazyCatCookin 0
You are a kid... and so am I
kawaiianime 5
WTF is wrong with you?
ninjasaurous 0
10- take one down! Open the spout and drinkity drink till the beer runs out!!! 569 bottles of beer on the wall! 569 bottles of beerrrr....
cautioninc 0
Dude, that's one of the great things about being a dad! I love crappy family road trips :)
tpike1296 11
you forgot tue way back.... 1270 miles....ha!
DAN7IEL 2
yeaaahhh I feel ya!! two satanic sisters makes my car rides HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 6 hours is almost impossible for me with them so I can understand the pain an suffering you gothrough!!!!!!
Kartor 6
Ydi for having 3 children. 0 is enough.
NorcalOunce 0
you also stopped to write this and submit it...
19mandi82 0
Easy fix, how about this: No food in car...when you stop to eat...MAKE them use the bathroom and don't leave until they do. Don't leave the house with any messy/noisy toys. And introduce all three to all the dumb car games, like I Spy, License plate bingo, etc. to keep them occupied...at least half the trip won't be a disaster on the way home. And remember, you want a peaceful, relaxing roadtrip...plan it kid-free....cause no plan is fail-proof.
pippymiskers 4
tatoos are from the devel.
gyg30 0
good luck last year done 1250 with boy friend, 2 kids and 2 cats in truck what an experience all in 24 hours