Today, at the crack of dawn, I started a 700-mile road trip with my three children. So far, I've stopped four times, settled several arguments, cleaned up spilled yogurt and melted silly putty. 130 miles down, 570 to go. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm on a road trip with my wife and in-laws. After 8 hours of driving we stopped at a hotel to rest overnight. I was elected to go to the grocery store to get dinner. While I was gone, they ate at a restaurant without me. I spent $80 on groceries for the trash can. FML
Today, I'm travelling across the country with my family. My grandma thought it would be a good idea to take her shoes off. It's been 5 minutes and my eyes are watering from the stench. We still have over 200 miles left until we get home. FML
Today, I'm going on an 8-hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML
Today, my family is on the third day of driving cross country. My husband is still pretending he is driving on a NASCAR track, sound effects and all. FML
Today, my sister and I drove 800 miles with her five-year-old, her two-year-old, and her two dogs. The two-year-old got carsick five times, adding an extra three hours to the trip. The kicker? My sister is sympathy spewer and neither of them chews food very well. FML
Today, I flew 1800 km with my two small children to a remote northern village for work. Our bags were lost, leaving us without winter gear and only one change of clothes. Just to make things extra fun, we now all have uncontrollable vomiting and diarrhea. FML
Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML
Today, after driving 900 miles, the tongue on my trailer broke ten miles away from home. I was stuck on the side of the road for 3 hours. FML
Today, I was on a long road trip with my son. He had to pee, and told him he had to wait till I could stop the car. He started counting backwards from 10. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, while on a road trip, I stopped at a gas station and told my kids to go to the restroom. My youngest daughter said, "I had to go earlier, but not anymore." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
worly 1
Are we there yet?!
Mumbellosity711 0
ydi for going on a SEVEN HUNDRED MILE ROAD TRIP.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (165)
shadowgirl21 0
why did u leave in the morning it's best to go around bed time so they sleep the entire trip
lu95 16
and you still have time to post?!
Mumbellosity711 0
ydi for going on a SEVEN HUNDRED MILE ROAD TRIP.
nerdsgetmehot 23
Well, y'know...That's motherhood in a nutshell, really. :/
manbizzle 1
YDI for being a bad parent. Get control of your kids OP.
dacho 7
And you STILL can publish this from your cell. I don't feel sorry for you.
ddgiants 0
YDI for not using protection. Look at it this way. It may be an epic road trip fail but its a total "kids will take care of me when I'm old as **** and ******** myself" win.
waterynuggets 0
Not if they put her ass in a home.
ddgiants 0
lol - true. Kids take care of me win turns into mashed carrots and prune juice dinner fail
pippymiskers 4
oh noes!!! not prune juice!!!
FlonkertonChamp 6
quit whining. that's what parenting is about.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#56 Exactly. When you have kids, you have to expect that there's going to be arguments, spilled yogurt, pooping and peeing, vomiting, etc. You have to take the good times with the bad.
amberistkrieg 2
I totally agree with you 60. I have two young boys and to embark on a long car trip, such as what OP decided to do...you have to expect your children will get restless. My kids get restless just driving to the grocery store...lol, but it's all part of being a parent. I would be lying to say I haven't mumbled FML a couple times though...;P
CrimsonWolf1294 0
ydi for wanting to have kids.
immazombeastxD 0
that silly putty is a bitch