Today, I got a splinter in my shop class. The teacher dug at it with tweezers for a while, then told me that my best bet would be to wait until the wound got infected and formed a bunch of pus around the splinter to force it out. It's in my dominant hand's palm. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to remove a splinter from one of my roommates. This would have been better if the splinter wasn't deeply lodged in their asscheek. FML
Today, I now know how it feels to have a splinter of wood hammered a full inch underneath your fingernail. FML
Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML
Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML
Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML
Today, I finally get to go surfing! On my way out, I got a splinter that’s still way too deep to remove, causing me to cancel the surf day and now it really hurts to walk. FML
Today, I reached for my lip balm while laying in bed in the dark. I accidentally knocked my bedside lamp, and it fell on my hand and shattered. A huge glass fragment impaled my hand. I just got out of surgery. FML
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Top comments
chuka81 27
You have two choices here. You could either listen to your teacher, or go see a qualified doctor.
anthonydpalm 18
Cut your whole hand off OP. Trust me, I'm a doctor.
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Comments (97)
minagiv 11
Make baking soda paste, then put that on your splinter. It'll work it out.
screwyousideways 17
technically, he's not wrong... or, you can soak your hand in warm water and have someone try then...
robthegray 3
just use better tweezers
fictionaldiary 11
Is your shop teacher also a doctor? Why are you taking medical advise from him?
Tyrax 16
This is not a valid idea, teacher. There are many ways to get a splinter out, including going to see a doctor. Unless it's in a strange place or is broken, the doctor can get it out - it might take a local anesthetic and a lancet, but should be quick.
ifuckuprandomly 28
For future reference, put your hand in hot water (not hot enough to burn). I get a lot of hair splinters as a barber and hot water loosens up your skin so the splinter should come right out.