Today, I got a splinter in my shop class. The teacher dug at it with tweezers for a while, then told me that my best bet would be to wait until the wound got infected and formed a bunch of pus around the splinter to force it out. It's in my dominant hand's palm. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to remove a splinter from one of my roommates. This would have been better if the splinter wasn't deeply lodged in their asscheek. FML
Today, I now know how it feels to have a splinter of wood hammered a full inch underneath your fingernail. FML
Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML
Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML
Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML
Today, I finally get to go surfing! On my way out, I got a splinter that’s still way too deep to remove, causing me to cancel the surf day and now it really hurts to walk. FML
Today, I reached for my lip balm while laying in bed in the dark. I accidentally knocked my bedside lamp, and it fell on my hand and shattered. A huge glass fragment impaled my hand. I just got out of surgery. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
chuka81 27
You have two choices here. You could either listen to your teacher, or go see a qualified doctor.
anthonydpalm 18
Cut your whole hand off OP. Trust me, I'm a doctor.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (97)
_Just_My_Luck 15
Should've worn gloves
BAYLEEBAKER 8
Duct tape may work, but if not use nail clippers and just cut it out. It sounds painful, but it's really not. Good luck!
xxSLURPMExx 10
Is that what your teacher did to his chromosomes?
dragoongirl90 34
That is not how infection works at all! Your teacher is a walnut. Go to a doctor.
big_country12 17
Get finger nail clippers and just cut away skin until you can dig it Out with tweezers or use the clippers as a form of tweezers. That's what I always do
Prairydawg 6
Be careful you don't transfer it somewhere else whacking off!
barista143 5
I know this sounds funny but get some drawing ointment. Warm it in hot water, layer it on thick, cover it overnight and hopefully the ointment will pull it from your hand, all without the infection and the digging of the flesh. Helped when I had a surgical stitch in my palm
hdonor 1
I know this sounds awful, but use a (sterile) sewing needle to push it out. Works for the deepest of slivers. Hurts a lot, but better than an infection.
Psyk_fml 11
Absolutely best way to remove a splinter is a sharp knife, like, exacto blade sharp, cut along the splinter in the opposite direction it went it (to keep from shoving it any further in), a few quick, light strokes should break the skin around the splinter, then just squeeze it out, or pull it out if you can grab it. It doesn't even hurt, just don't cut deeper than the splinter. Probably wouldn't hurt to polysporin and bandage it after removing the splinter. Pro-tip: if it still hurts a lot after you remove the splinter, you didn't get it all, there's still a bit lodged in there.
melissawarren 7
Hack: tape a piece of bread to it and leave it there for a while. The yeast brings it up so it's much easier to take out :)