Today, I got a splinter in my shop class. The teacher dug at it with tweezers for a while, then told me that my best bet would be to wait until the wound got infected and formed a bunch of pus around the splinter to force it out. It's in my dominant hand's palm. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to remove a splinter from one of my roommates. This would have been better if the splinter wasn't deeply lodged in their asscheek. FML
Today, I now know how it feels to have a splinter of wood hammered a full inch underneath your fingernail. FML
Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML
Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML
Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML
Today, I finally get to go surfing! On my way out, I got a splinter that’s still way too deep to remove, causing me to cancel the surf day and now it really hurts to walk. FML
Today, I reached for my lip balm while laying in bed in the dark. I accidentally knocked my bedside lamp, and it fell on my hand and shattered. A huge glass fragment impaled my hand. I just got out of surgery. FML
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Top comments
chuka81 27
You have two choices here. You could either listen to your teacher, or go see a qualified doctor.
anthonydpalm 18
Cut your whole hand off OP. Trust me, I'm a doctor.
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Comments (97)
sdeprived 7
Prid works really well on splinters
ASuperWhoLockian 11
Try to put duct tape over it and after a while peel it off.
marousje 20
Try some baking soda! It might sound a bit weird, but it does help most of the time! ☺️
mattyiscool123 26
I thought the last thing anyone wants is for it to get infected
faifai_fml 21
In my experience, if you wait a day or two, the natural movement of your skin cells will move it towards the surface where you can pull it yourself, without pus. Ew.
Lancer033 5
grow some balls, get a sharp knife and cut it out. 1 minute of pain and it's all done.
thatsme293 28
More like F your life for learning from that teacher.
RecklessNapkin 16
school glue
ClitasaurusRex 3
How will you ********** now???
MrGarrett26 11
R.I.P late night fapping