Today, my boyfriend and I were acting out a kinky scenario at home, where we'd met in a club and were having a one night stand. We ended up getting into a real argument about an imaginary girl in the club. I didn't have sex and we haven't spoken since. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML
Today, while trying to spice up our marriage, we decided to get a hotel room and roleplay as strangers who meet in a bar and have a one night stand. By the time I got there, he was engrossed in the football and on the beer. He didn't notice me arrive and when he did, he was too drunk to get the roleplay right. FML
Today, I let my on-again, off-again boyfriend spend the night. For months we had been fighting about his new flame. After he convinced me that they are no longer an item, we had the most mind-blowing sex then we fell asleep. I awoke to him moaning her name. Followed by pelvic thrusts. FML
Today, I was trying to be dirty with my fiancé. He got really into the roleplaying and wouldn't stop pretending to be a cop for hours. Mood officially killed. FML
Today, I had sex with the guy who had been the main subject of my bean-flicking fantasies since I met him. It was the absolute worst sex of my life. I guess some things are just better left to the imagination. FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
Today, some filthy creep grabbed my girlfriend's ass in front of me. I smashed his face in, as would be expected. Afterwards, we had wild sex, then she cried, told me how frightened my "unprovoked violent response" made her, and kicked me out. I'm now in a seedy motel, wondering what the hell happened. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over a stupid argument, but after a long day we made up and got back together. Not long afterwards, my friend called, feeling guilty and confessing that he had sex with her after finding out she'd dumped me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after, he gave me the "let's just be friends" speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex-girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML
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Top comments
missamerica95 0
People these days. Seriously? If you're old enough to have sex then you should be old enough to work through petty arguments. Grow up.
Crazynopantsman 11
What the hell.
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Comments (160)
Dirty_Minded_FML 2
People these days have too much time on their hands.....
unknown_user5566 27
Why are you implying that the attempt to spice up your sex life is a waste of time? It obviously ended badly here, but when done correctly, role playing can help maintain a healthy sexual relationship.
unknown_user5566 27
This attempt ended badly, but attempting to spice up your sex life to maintain a healthy sexual relationship is never a waste of time, as you have implied.
unknown_user5566 27
Ah, sorry FML. I didn't think my first comment went through, so I posted again. My bad.
Michaelsgirl04 9
role playing is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard of. if you can't have an enjoyable experience with your partner then maybe you have bigger problems
MissssUnderstood 13
Someones imagination is very thought out!
CinnamonRugby 5
Im imagining her, and I would of gone for her too.
challan 19
I was imagining her too, and I think she'd be down for a threesome.
idoam 8
No, you would have gone for her, too
CinnamonRugby 5
Me, you, imagination girl? Thats how I imagine this going down.
challan 19
Cinnamon, only if she's an imaginary Asian.
CinnamonRugby 5
I imagined an asian-latina mix. Willing to meet halfway?
CinnamonRugby 5
I imagined an asian-latina mix. Willing to meet halfway?
challan 19
Cinnamon, I'm an accommodating imaginary lover. That works for me. Hmu when you schedule our imaginary Ménage à trois.
CinnamonRugby 5
I thought the girl was imaginary, not the act itself. Major buzzkill. If thats the case i imagine it happening this evening after we meet at the club. Your on the pill right?
challan 19
Depo, but we don't know each other well enough for even imaginary sex without a condom. I have some Dark Side condoms. I will bring them with me. Darth Vader says, "You will not be the father!"
CinnamonRugby 5
Phew, thats good. I didnt want little internet babies running all over peoples browsers.
challan 19
I agree, cyber babies are the worst. Crawling on your screen when your getting your kink on, puking on your reports or taking a poop in the middle of your game. No thanks. We're imaginary double bagging for sure.
CinnamonRugby 5
Are you imagining us both drunk coming home from the club? I see this turning into a "Knocked Up" situation.
challan 19
You'll have to play the hot chick if we act it out, cause I am a pervy nerd and that role was made for me. I'm not a pot head, but I'd be willing to get a buzz on just to be authentic.
challan 19
Oh... And don't you keep thinking Angela is talking about us? Lmao (look down)
challan 19
Deleted us FML? We were very clever and amusing. At least I was amused! I guess I went to far with my last comment. Sorry. Cinnamon, hmu! We have the same strange sense of humor and it was fun!
CinnamonRugby 5
nbvcder
angela3825 1
Really? Omg you two need to grow up
br0ccoli 15
Sorry to tell you but he did some dirty things with that imaginary girl. That's why he's always chewing Orbit gum.
Arrawyn 12
That's the kind of relationship I want
Primmly 11
You were part of the argument, so YDI. Might want to rethink things if you need an imaginary reason to get into a fight. :P
toposhad 2
wow. FML
unknown_user5566 27
FYL*
pzychosys 5
Sounds like you won't be playing that game again.
Spongy1223 0
aww....