Today, my boyfriend and I were acting out a kinky scenario at home, where we'd met in a club and were having a one night stand. We ended up getting into a real argument about an imaginary girl in the club. I didn't have sex and we haven't spoken since. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML
Today, while trying to spice up our marriage, we decided to get a hotel room and roleplay as strangers who meet in a bar and have a one night stand. By the time I got there, he was engrossed in the football and on the beer. He didn't notice me arrive and when he did, he was too drunk to get the roleplay right. FML
Today, I let my on-again, off-again boyfriend spend the night. For months we had been fighting about his new flame. After he convinced me that they are no longer an item, we had the most mind-blowing sex then we fell asleep. I awoke to him moaning her name. Followed by pelvic thrusts. FML
Today, I was trying to be dirty with my fiancé. He got really into the roleplaying and wouldn't stop pretending to be a cop for hours. Mood officially killed. FML
Today, I had sex with the guy who had been the main subject of my bean-flicking fantasies since I met him. It was the absolute worst sex of my life. I guess some things are just better left to the imagination. FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
Today, some filthy creep grabbed my girlfriend's ass in front of me. I smashed his face in, as would be expected. Afterwards, we had wild sex, then she cried, told me how frightened my "unprovoked violent response" made her, and kicked me out. I'm now in a seedy motel, wondering what the hell happened. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over a stupid argument, but after a long day we made up and got back together. Not long afterwards, my friend called, feeling guilty and confessing that he had sex with her after finding out she'd dumped me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after, he gave me the "let's just be friends" speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex-girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML
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Top comments
missamerica95 0
People these days. Seriously? If you're old enough to have sex then you should be old enough to work through petty arguments. Grow up.
Crazynopantsman 11
What the hell.
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Comments (160)
nmlutgen 11
I can't believe people commenting on you guys working it out after the "IMAGINARY" fight. You guys should break up. Obviously there's something wrong with the two of you. Thanks for reading. :)
unknown_user5566 27
Your intelligence isn't much better than theirs if you think a small argument should lead to a break up. Good luck maintaining a serious relationship with that mind set.
FarscapeSDC 9
I wonder how that argument went... woman: "How dare you pretend to feel up that imaginary woman's imaginary arse when you already have me!" Man: "But we're pretending that we're not dating" woman: "That's not the point! the point is that you don't think I'm enough for you!" man: "In this scenario, we don't even know each other! How can you not be enough for me when I don't even know you!" woman: "That's the problem! you don't know me, you don't understand me!" Man: "What!? how did we get from you freaking out over me hitting on an imaginary girl, to me not understanding you? You're being irrational." Woman: "It's because you love her more than you love me!" Man: "She's not even real!" Woman: "SO!?" Man: "O_O" Bitches be crazy (My apologies to women who aren't crazy, but insane women like that make everyone seem bad.) P.S. I know that it is not a certainty that it is the girl who started the argument, but it's the only thing that makes sense. I can't imagine the guy going nuts over an imaginary girl.
GDIalex 11
Your comment is full of sense and it has made my day. I really did encounter this type of behaviour. It freaks me out. The worst thing is that when you're in this situation, you don't really know what to do or what to say!
FarscapeSDC 9
When dealing with women who are being irrational, I take advice from the penguins from "Madagascar" - "Just smile and wave, boys, smile and wave."
challan 19
I assumed it was him, not her, that was all irrational. I once told my ex that our waitress was incredibly sexy and we should bring her home with us. It was supposed to lead into a fantasy and hot sex, but instead he was mad because obviously he couldn't satisfy me. He never ate there again.
HarperGirl 4
AWESOME lol
vbmg152 19
Uhm, how old are you? Why didn't you just have an imaginary argument over the imaginary girl? Oh, I get it! You had imaginary make up sex! YDI
unknown_user5566 27
That seems pretty petty, OP. You could have reconciled it easily if you really wanted sex that badly; you should have just pretended to be the other girl. And even if you didn't go back to him for sex, you have hands... Could've just taken care of business yourself!
kthxbie 10
Best. FML. Ever
Camo788 0
Wow that shouldnt ever be a topic of argument.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
That's pathetic, I'm sorry. Epic fail. Role playing - you're doing it wrong.
FrankHotpants 31
I agree with starting out with a more simple scenario first. Try the olde naughty school girl or pizza delivery guy routine
tehspy1337 0
They were on a break
perdix 31
You should have picked up an imaginary hot dude from the imaginary club. Imaginary guys are so much better. Then, don't cheat or fart and when you are done with them, you forget them and they are gone. Reality bites.