Today, I bought a huge 1kg bag of catnip and told the delivery driver to just leave the package inside the door. They then left me a soft plastic bag full of catnip. Guess who came home to two stoned cats and a messed up house… FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML
Today, I think my cat is getting high. Whenever she finds her drug of choice, she sniffs it, then rolls around in it, purring ecstatically. Typical catnip reaction, right? Wrong. It’s my dirty underwear she's into. FML
Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML
Today, I bought my cat a nice big bag of expensive anti-hairball catfood, so she'd stop puking hairballs on my things. After eating it, she started running around wildly, howling and projectile vomiting on EVERYTHING. FML
Today, I discovered that my old roommate had left a full bag of cat litter on my porch and all over my yard. FML
Today, I found a package outside my door and assumed that I'd drunk-ordered shit on Amazon. I opened it before checking the label, which I should've done because it was addressed to my neighbor, and contained 6 pounds of live crickets for someone's pet lizard. I have never closed a box faster. FML
Today, I bought a new beanbag chair. My cat thought it was a great scratcher and I now have thousands of tiny plastic balls around the house. He decided those looked yummy, and now the scent of vomit and plastic is awful. FML
Today, my new couch was delivered. As the delivery guys left, I came back into the living room and noticed a bad but familiar smell. I turned the couch cushions over to discover that my cat had already claimed it as her personal litter tray. The return policy doesn’t cover "cat defilement." FML
Today I opened the door for my cat and he brought in a rat with him. Now the rat is hiding in my house. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
1. All the neighborhood cats 2. Kevin McCarthy 3. Atticus Finch I'm sure I'm competitive in this game. I hope the prize can help with my New Year's Resolution. Sure could use a deluxe ice cream scoop!
tiptoppc 21
Lol. Just don’t give them real mint. Effs them up real good. Mine got aggressive after being given spearmint leaves.
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Comments (2)
RichardPencil 32
1. All the neighborhood cats 2. Kevin McCarthy 3. Atticus Finch I'm sure I'm competitive in this game. I hope the prize can help with my New Year's Resolution. Sure could use a deluxe ice cream scoop!
tiptoppc 21
Lol. Just don’t give them real mint. Effs them up real good. Mine got aggressive after being given spearmint leaves.