Today, I think my cat is getting high. Whenever she finds her drug of choice, she sniffs it, then rolls around in it, purring ecstatically. Typical catnip reaction, right? Wrong. It’s my dirty underwear she's into. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML
Today, I saw my cat licking something on the side of the road and went to check what it was. It was someone's old cigarette. I now know why she wants to be let out so often: She's addicted to nicotine. FML
Today, I bought a huge 1kg bag of catnip and told the delivery driver to just leave the package inside the door. They then left me a soft plastic bag full of catnip. Guess who came home to two stoned cats and a messed up house… FML
Today, after putting the same load of laundry through the wash four times, I was wondering why my clothes kept smelling worse and worse. Turns out, my cat learned how to open and pee in the detergent funnel. FML
Today, I had a full on "conversation" with my cat about her laying off the catnip. I really need to get out more. FML
Today, I realized my cat has a foot fetish. She keeps randomly flopping over on my feet while I'm walking, and will lick my toes if I am barefooted. I have absolutely no idea where this came from, but it makes me super uncomfortable. Even my other cat looks at her like she's gone insane. FML
Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML
Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML
Today, I have concluded that my new girlfriend is a cat. She ignores me 99% of the day, nuzzles me when she does want attention, gets the zoomies randomly twice a day, her snoring legit sounds like she’s purring, and when she gets real mad, she scratches. FML
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Top comments
Inkoseh 33
Cats (and dogs) like the scent of their owners. They also like the scent your apocrine sweat glands let out, which is from armpits and you guessed it: your genital area. It's a strong scent and a LOT of pets roll, smell, mark and even chew on those parts of clothing the most. It's just what animals do!
jfigley 5
Interesting
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Comments (4)
Inkoseh 33
Cats (and dogs) like the scent of their owners. They also like the scent your apocrine sweat glands let out, which is from armpits and you guessed it: your genital area. It's a strong scent and a LOT of pets roll, smell, mark and even chew on those parts of clothing the most. It's just what animals do!
jfigley 5
Interesting
Fata Morgana 1029 9
I can confirm this explanation. I used to be a vet assistant. We've had to remove underwear from a dog's stomach more than once for this reason.
Warp1978 15
My wife's old cat used to go bezerk for our dirty underwear it was crazy, we had to put it straight into the washing machine because otherwise she'd tear the laundry bag up trying to get to it.
Crowned Sataness 12
do you smell like tuna?
ghostinflames 13
OMG, my cat was just doing this...******* weirdos!