Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't attend her dog's funeral, and was therefore an insensitive bastard. I couldn't attend because my mum has cancer and I was driving her to a hospital appointment. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. I tried to hide my sadness from my mom. She still noticed, and tried to cheer me up. She took me to a funeral. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I didn't call her in the last few days. I tried to explain to her that I was out at my grandfather's house in a remote place with no cell service to stand by him on his death bed. She thought I was making excuses and called me a lying bastard. FML
Today, my girlfriend slapped me and dumped me because she thought I was gay, simply because I had to miss a date because one of my guy friends was in a car accident, and I went to see him at the hospital. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't spend the day with me as he had his grandmother's funeral. Lonely, I went shopping and I bumped into his mum having lunch with his 'dead' grandma. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
alaaloo_fml_fml 0
I'm sorry OP :( That's absolutely terrible. Forget about her. The FML should be that your mother has cancer, not that your girlfriend is a bitch.
schwancy 2
Do you really want to be with someone as rediculous as that?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (128)
melibear89 7
you should feel glad you got rid of a shallow bitch. your mom is more important than a damn dog.
perdix 31
Your mum could have taken the bus. When something actually dies, it takes precedence over something that may potentially die in the future. You need to find a cold-hearted bitch to go with your black, frozen soul -- they're wilder in bed, anyways.
grandpaearthling 2
yeah mom is going to get more chemotherapy. this is fluffy's only funeral. the poor girlfriend will now have to spend eternity looking for an orphan that will out her needs first. poor bitch
grandpaearthling 2
sorry, put her needs first, a parentless pussy that will place her properly upon the pedestal of adoration
perdix 31
Yeah, but the rewards of putting the girlfriend's overblown needs over his mom's real ones are much hotter. That "good son" stuff is OK, but hot, wild sex is just tough to beat.
grandpaearthling 2
yeah "my dog died" sex is always better than here's a hand job for giving your mom a ride
All_For_Love 0
Family is forever. His girlfriend was a birch anyways and there's probably many more to come <3
perdix 31
Hardly anything is less hot than the matronly hand job during rush-hour traffic.
ColetteL 4
I would call her a lemon rather than a birch.
LiznessMonster 9
The dogs already dead, there's nothing you can do about that. However, there's still a chance of saving his mom, so naturally the better option is to focus on his mom, logically. Emotionally, that dog didn't give birth to him. That dog didn't raise him. And what mother is going to be happy taking the bus when she has a perfectly capable son to drive her. It's not a matter of she couldn't get to the hospital any other way, it's a matter of respect; you don't treat a dog that's not even yours better than your own mother.
ColetteL 4
47...your word of the day is "facetious". You might was to learn it.
ColetteL 4
want*
DocBastard 40
His face is tedious? What??
iknowwhatimsayin 0
IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH "saving his mom"!!!! OR SEX!!! (although... nah not goin there) HIS GF WAS AN INSENSITIVE BITCH WHO ONLY THINKS ABOUT HERSELF AND DOESN'T CARE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE!!
lifeisabitch43 4
You are a dumbass, shut up.
PBcupcake 7
I agree.surely he wasn't the only one that could drive his mom to an appointment. my dog is like my child, people joke that she couldn't be more like me even if I birthed her myself. it was insensitive to not be there for her and I'd be just as upset. his moms appointment could have been something mundane like paperwork or something
whatyotalkinbout 0
who the **** has a funeral for a dog?
Bekll 31
Why assume the dog was a male?
macskapingvin 0
ALL DOGS ARE MALE, YOU FOOL.
DAN_THA_GR8 12
y not ?
DarkHelmet 10
u should go piss on that dogs grave and make her watch! Then kick her to the curb for her thinking her stupid ass dog (which she's probably already replaced) is more important than your dying Mother
koda89 0
lol dying mother.. such words of encouragement
PBcupcake 7
he never said she was dying
Juicelyn 0
She's a bitch. 'Nuff said.
vixon 0
that's just selfish of her... and quite rude considering what your mother is going through.
Deefatboy 0
Not cool
Crippla 0
Saved you the trouble of having to dump a dumb bitch. sorry to hear about the cancer though
BoredomKillsinc 0
you should dig up her dog and start to play with it to show how much you care for her and her dog
grandpaearthling 2
no dig the dog up then chain it to her porch. repeat as needed until caught or she goes **** up at the funny farm
All_For_Love 0
Sorry OP. but do you really wanna be with someone like that? Shes not even close to worth it.
All_For_Love 0
perdix! I always enjoy your comments but you went for the cheap joke this time :(