Today, I found out that being rhythmically challenged really really sucks. I was trying to dance around sexily for my girlfriend, and I was doing that one move where you thrust your pelvis forward, and swing you hand from side to side. I hit myself in the nuts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML
Today, I joined a dance class to impress my girlfriend. Halfway through, I realized I had two left feet. The instructor asked me to demonstrate a simple move, and instead I tripped on the mat, fell into another dancer, and took her down with me. I’ve been banned from all future classes. FML
Today, I had sex with a friend. It was really good too! Until she kicked me in my right nut while changing positions. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML
Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML
Today me and my boyfriend were in an adventurous sexual position and as I started to orgasm he slipped, landed awkwardly and dislocated both my hips, while I was in the middle of an orgasm. Somehow the pleasure of the orgasm made the pain worse. I don't think I'll ever want sex again. FML
Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML
Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML
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Top comments
lrb081 0
a bit of advice: there is NOTHING sexy about that dance move. period.
Glam_fml 0
Men dancing is rarely ever sexy.
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Comments (49)
muffinz85 0
rofl thats really funny! :)
zaadam2 5
Unless you are a male stripper, I don't think any guy could dance "sexily" for their girlfriend. Keep to the basics man, dancing isn't one of them...
1_9_1_7_1_0_2_4 0
its all in the hips man. go to a club once in a while you may learn how to dance. just sayin.
zombiebubbles 0
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. that is freaking hilarious. (*: i just shed a tear. but im sorrry.
oystercultviking 0
ROFL :} I think I just peed. That was amazing. I hope my future boyfriend does something like that so that I may laugh at his misfortune :P
OneFuckedGuy 0
FYL on the ball pain bro
ConnorMichelle 0
oh your from texas, that explains it!
_adrenaline 0
Were you trying to be Napoleon Dynamite?
FreakyFaceFilms 0
No just no: Hold up - Why the f*ck were you doing some gay ass dance in the first place? I mean the way this was written makes you sound like a retard...Ha at ur Failness, YDI for being one strange son of a b*tch...
DubbleSlice 3
YES THANK U!! ive been wanting to find a word(s) that describes why i sing horrably!