Alcohol Miscellaneous Denial

Denial

Andre -

Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

It's all my fault

Anonymous - 18/08/2011 07:42 - United States

Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML

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Cpt_Concerned - 22/09/2009 04:37 - Canada

Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML

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ash - 25/08/2011 22:57 - United States

Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML

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shelby - 30/03/2011 04:54 - United States

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

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mindlost - 07/01/2010 02:58 - United States

Today, I had an argument over whether or not I should buy some flowers. With myself. Out loud. FML

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Wino - 05/12/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store to stock up on booze for the weekend. After the cashier commented on the size my purchase, I claimed to be hosting a dinner party tonight. I'm not. FML

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foxfur - 14/07/2016 12:21 - United States - Williamstown

Today, my drinking habit hit a new low when I waited almost an hour to go to the liquor store after it opened because I didn't want to seem desperate. FML

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The Conversationalist

Anonymous - 13/09/2019 00:01 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I was so bad at maintaining a conversation that the only way for the other guy to put up with me was to drink. He was the designated driver. He would rather risk drinking and driving than being sober around me. FML

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Lonely time

talker - 14/11/2012 06:14 - United States - Middletown

Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML

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Staircase wit at the checkout

Anonymous - 21/10/2024 16:00 - United States - Galveston

Today, while in line at the grocery store, I was going over the witty but caustic things I wish I'd said in an argument earlier. Turns out, I was saying them out loud. The cashier gave me a weird look and said, “Are you okay, ma'am?” FML

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Doortje 29

Monday 16 May 2011 12:10

Well, acknowledging you have a problem is the first step..

FunnyGuy5051 7

Monday 16 May 2011 12:06

I think they thought you were more drunk than pathetic

alaskasfml 0

Monday 16 May 2011 23:23

at least you weren't having a conversation with the bottle "hello little friend!"

Alekyork 0

Monday 16 May 2011 23:43

At least you're not in denial anymore. :D

Honda288 2

Tuesday 17 May 2011 4:54

This just made me laugh.

SLWatcher_fml 1

Tuesday 17 May 2011 19:14

Geesh, all you idiots saying that admitting you have a problem is the first step.... EVERYBODY knows that drinking so much it BECOMES a problem is the FIRST STEP!!

sux_to_be_you 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 9:48

u need the 12 step program homey

viperguy4 2

Thursday 19 May 2011 0:59

not that odd really look around at a fair amount of people most do it without realizing it and unless your getting a bottle every day your most likely not an alcoholic