Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN!" in front of the whole restaurant. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on for months. It was such a big deal for me cause it was my first date ever. The first thing he says when we met was, "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself for 10 minutes. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML
Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner, we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it wouldn't flush. FML
Today, I went for a quick piss at a restaurant. As I walked out the door, a little kid in the bathroom yelled, "HEY MISTER, YOU FORGOT TO WASH YOUR HANDS!" Everyone in the dining room stared, including my date. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML
Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML
Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML
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Top comments
Hoofin 0
And this is why little kids should not be allowed in public
vendris 5
Oh no, you did something completely natural, **** your life indeed.
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Comments (91)
machete_fml 0
whatta I hope she didn't run away
machete_fml 0
shit! i was FIRST and didnt say it I'm the man!
aero_fml 0
Except you just did. And did so by commenting on your own comment. Thumbs down!
dyliumo 0
MM MM GOOOOOOOOOOOOD
Ox_Baker 0
Let's also vote thumbs down on his original comment.
bishoprsv2 0
YDI for pooping
teozac 0
EAT DA POO POO! from an afrikan pastor in a funny clip
moonlight_daze 8
YDI for being a yuppie at a fancy restaurant. And YDI for not ******** before your date.
aback 5
Really. Why would anybody save it up for DURING the date? Does that cap off the perfect evening for some people?
Mauskau 36
i'd go before i went. i hate using toilets in public for the sole reason that other people can hear me. i can hold onto *****.
Vaetrus 0
There are some things you do before you go out. Especially on a date. You gotta relieve yourself beforehand man. Take care of yo biz-ness.
gonzolove 0
Eating food and calling people Poopoo Man, apparently.
Intoxicunt 6
Because, aback, that way they have ammo for a blumpkin, Cleveland steamer, Boston pancake, Alabam hot pocket, etc.
Emberlin 0
#50 is the funniest person on this site; I love you!
moonlight_daze 8
I agree with #57.
Unlucky_Gun 0
Yeah I don't like crapping in public either. Anyway, you people are all dumb. Maybe OP didn't have to go before his date. Fucktards
666HailSatan666 0
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hoofin 0
And this is why little kids should not be allowed in public
gonzolove 0
Agreed. I hate those little *******.
Mystery01234 4
**** you guys for disliking little children.
NotASquirrel 19
There are also the terrible parents who let the children do whatever they want.
rosyrose 0
what she say? lol
vendris 5
Oh no, you did something completely natural, **** your life indeed.
will90 5
While going to the bathroom is natural, relieving oneself in an (apparently) obnoxiously loud manner while on a date is not socially normal. What it is, is hilarious. Good FML.
HerpaderpMeg 12
getting called out on it is better xD
Trollkiller 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
WTF sob u cry for such a small thing it's not like u only in the world can take a huge shot come to my place I'll show u my uncle who Can bury u under his one single dump wanna take down d address?
sch1ll 0
hahhah wtf , what a dumb little kid. He totally burned u outttt
friscobuff 0
YDI FOR EATING TOO MUCH! FAT ASS!
LaurenKate 0
Wow, you're a tool. LOL
friscobuff 0
YDI FOR EATING TOO MUCH! AND FOR DATING A **** IN A FANCY RESTAURANT!
pempem 0
lol