Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I fucked up by trusting the wrong fart and shat myself in the middle of the restaurant I was eating lunch at. I was so mortified, I couldn't even finish the meal I paid for. FML
Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML
Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML
Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML
Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN!" in front of the whole restaurant. FML
Today, my date from the night before let me stay behind when he had left for work. While relaxing, I figured I'd be fine to let a little fart out. Unbeknownst to me, not eating enough food over the past few days turned the contents of my bowels to liquid. I sharted on their bed. FML
Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I'd met online. Everything was going surprisingly well, until I knocked over my drink, spilling it all over my date's lap. In a panic, I blurted out, "Dude, did you piss yourself?" Needless to say, there will be no second date. FML
Today, I went on a date. I went to the bathroom for five minutes and returned to find my date had not only left, but poured ketchup all over our food to ruin it. FML
Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend when he suddenly got down on one knee and proposed. A waiter tripped over him and spilled our food all over him. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
HeyItsCamilo 17
im waiting for him to post"today,i shat myself on a date,on the brightside i think she didn't notice"
MitchRapp 20
Sounds like a crappy date.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (37)
Sparx1_1 16
oooor something else caused the smell (like maybe the grease trap overflowing, or you were seated too close to the bathroom). Which means maybe he thought you shat yourself and spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened.
anonymoususer070 17
I would think it's pretty obvious if the person sitting across from you shat their pants. I've personally never been to a restaurant where you're seated THAT close to the bathroom, there could be places like that I've just never seen one. I could be wrong but from what I remember the grease trap overflowing doesn't smell like someone shat their pants plus like I said before I think you could tell if it's coming from the kitchen or right across your table or next to you.
izzajaneful 24
Or maybe just a really smelly fart. Perhaps he spent the rest of the meal sitting at an awkward angle?
zaidthunder1 27
Think your date missed his potty time.
NerdGirl321 27
Must have been a shitty date.
Nickimariek 20
Oh gosh... that poor guy was probably too embarrassed to get up
neuronerd 29
Or maybe he had a colostomy bag. One of my friends is only in his early 30s and had one for a while following surgery for colon cancer. Unfortunately, they can smell like the person shat themselves (which I guess they kind of did, but in that situation, you have no control over it and it's contained).
EvilLittleMan 23
Does that mean a little after dinner delight was out of the question?
chuxky 2
look i have been viewing fml's for the past 3 years in school, work and free time and never have i thought of making an account but after i read this i had to make an account you have to give him points for trying i mean he acted like nothing happened so maybe he really likes you otherwise he would have ran him
_Adog2645 24
Really? This is your first ever comment, and your grammar is that poor?
chewsef 17
The dog did it.
Eliiara 11
I feel like this needs a follow up in how it went after you noticed. Lolllll
justamoderator 11
Maybe he picked up some smut on his sole during walk to the restaurant? It happened to me once, and I constantly thought my husband had sharted. It was dog poop all along..