Today, I found out that the weird lump on my eye is benign. That would be great news but they aren't going to treat it at all. Now I look like I'm high all the time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the eye doctor told me I only had 90% vision on my left eye, and asked if I wanted treatment. Not being terribly bothered by it, I asked what the treatment would consist of. "We'll stick a large needle in your eye, and pump in some medicine." I quickly wished him a pleasant day and left. FML
Today, I got the biopsy results from a weird mole I had removed. It's completely harmless, and I have nothing to worry about. My first reaction was disappointment, because I'll have to keep going to work instead of starting cancer treatment. FML
Today, I had a CT scan done after hitting my head, for fear of a concussion. Good news: no concussion. Bad news: the tumor they "accidentally" found. FML
Today, I discovered that the medicated eye drops I have been taking to fight a mild eye infection show up under black lights when I walked into a party and the whole left side of my face was glowing. FML
Today, I got sent home from work for appearing stoned/under the influence of drugs. I suffer from severe hay fever, which no antihistamine has fixed yet, hence the red and glassy eyes. FML
Today, I went to urgent care for cloudy vision and eye pain to rule out an infection. They freaked out and pressured me into going to the ER, implying I could lose my vision. Several hours and thousands of dollars later, I just have dry eyes. I hate our healthcare system. FML
Today, I saw a dermatologist to see if they would remove my moles for cosmetic reasons. Turns out 5 of them are suspicious and need to be removed anyway. Good news: I don’t have to pay for it. Bad news: it might be because they’re cancerous. FML
Today, my parents brought me to the doctor because I was "faking" a headache. One thing led to another, and it turns out I have a tumor pressing against my spine. FML
Today, I went to the doctor to ask what the weird white lump was on my back, and if it was cancer. He told me it was the biggest pimple he'd ever seen. FML
Today, I rushed to urgent care after suddenly developing a dark spot in the vision of one of my eyes. Long story short, I paid $110 for the doctor to remove an eyelash. FML
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Top comments
SeasonedLemur 5
I smoke two joints in the morning I smoke two joints at night I smoke two joints in the afternoon It makes me feel alright I smoke two joints in times of peace And two in times of war I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints and then I smoke two more.
xxxInsanexxx 9
This is a problem because you ARE stoned a lot, right?
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Comments (133)
ILoveSomeFun 0
first
cloudy01 0
last
savs11 13
Oh wow you made first. Hooray for you. Now here's your free laptop. Oh wait, I lied.
TroII 0
#1 its spelled "Im a tool."
xxxInsanexxx 9
This is a problem because you ARE stoned a lot, right?
KlaLynn 3
That happens to be exactly what I was thinking. =P
fatgirllovesfml 0
roflmao shit brix
khaya 9
I was gonna clean my room......
SeasonedLemur 5
.... but then I got high!
seanders 10
I was gonna get up and find the broom.....
MissBunny25 0
I was gonna get up and find the broom but then I got high...
MissBunny25 0
sorry 38 I didnt see your comment when I posted :(
_yarrrr 0
my room is still messed up and I know why (why man?)
EverybodyHatesCh 0
I was gonna go get high!! but then I got high!!! WooHooHooHoooooo
ant1078 7
u look like ke$ha
stoopkid911 0
i dnt really see the problem. just get high nd then ull havr n excuse.
littlemissFYL 5
because I got high, because I got high.
seanders 10
I was gonna make love to you, but then I got high. I was gonna eat your pussy too, but then I got high. Now I'm jacking off, and I know why!!
littlemissFYL 5
when I was first reading this, I thought you were going to say you had cancer. just be thankful it isn't, OP :)
pertained 12
I THINK I HAD THAT TOO. on my eyelid once, but my doctor said I was good looking anyway so it wouldn't marr my overall good lookingness.
countryboyj17 0
#92, cool story bro..
countryboyj17 0
#92, cool story bro..
Mariesandoval 0
That sucks!
krustacea 1
Awwww I'm sorry tht rlly sux.
MissBunny25 0
I pack this bowl for two...
_yarrrr 0
rad song
jenna_rae 0
benign? what's that mean?
mandipandi30 0
106-benign means it's not cancerous, it can't kill you like real cancer.my friend had a benign tumor in hr stomach she didn't die cuz it was benign:)
jenna_rae 0
ok but I STILL don't know what benign is
Tswift0806 3
Benign is something that will not harm you. I don't think it's that difficult.
CareFace 16
You'll be the popular kid at school that gets all the chicks.
Predental 5
op is a girl
enonymous 9
^ exactly this is why it's a good thing
Noob30 0
Doesn't mean she said she was straight 81 :P
ghm1234 0
look in the corner dumbass
Pownzeez 0
now u can get high all the time
johnson94 5
I still don't get why it gives you a reason to be high if you just look like you're high?
LifeSucksbtw 0
cause u have an excuse if some one Accuses u of being high! :D dam op is lucky
ATLBOI770 0
kuz ur not a pothead!!!!
PassTheDutch 0
you have to be a pothead to understand
Ihatecupcakes17 0
Lol I just read this convo and it was so funny XD
MidgetInvasion 14
Everyone on this site is high. You're good.
fmart 0
wont be a problem if u ARE high all the timee :D
snorlaxxx 0
thats not cute . but now u have an excuse into getting high (:
marinus_fml 20
Who wants to get high anyway?
tsim_fml 0
15- lots of people. not me but lots of people would like to get high
iLazy 0
I'm sure towelie wants to get high
_yarrrr 0
I would always like to get high. Infact I'm getting high right now. You should too 15, loosen up a tad ;)
sasonzal 4
anyone who tried it and knows it isn't a drug,and by the way people who wants an excuse for red eyes just say your contact lenses burn(even if you don't wear any)works for me perfectly
Grimmerie 31
anything that alters your levels consciousness and hormonal and chemical balances - with the exceptions of necessities, such as food and water - is a drug. caffeine, alcohol, marijuana, and so forth ... all drugs. don't advocate ignorance, and learn what you're putting in your body before you **** with substances!
gtaranger 1
maybe you should get a pair of sunglasses.
j_cat187 20
maby if u gt high ur puples will get super huge.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
*facepalm*
LilTiki559 13
spoken like a true pothead...o_o...idiot.
doom2 8
haha, well on the positive side that just gives you an excuse to be high all the time then? (:
BoJanglesHC 0
amen to that