Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML
Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend and absent-mindedly began sucking on a marker. He jokingly told me it was sexy, so I continued while making obscene gestures and moans. Suddenly he began to look nervous. I turned around to see my dad looking at me, disgusted and confused. FML
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
Today, my mom looked through my browser history and saw Chatroulette. She thought I'd gotten into online gambling, and wouldn't believe me when I explained what it really was. After I insisted on showing her, the first chat window to open contained cocks as far as the eye could see. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were using our Skype accounts for the first time. He went to the restroom and I thought that I'd surprise him with my clothes off for when he came back. I heard him walk back into the room so I got into position. It wasn't him. It was his mom. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML
Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I "jack off real weird." FML
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Top comments
BubbleGrunge 18
I'm slightly curious if your dad was not at least a tad impressed. I mean, who wouldn't want that ability??
MaliciousMel 1
I'm not sure if I should click Your Life Sucks or You Deserved it, but either way, this is beautiful.
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Comments (157)
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Why are there so many FMLs dealing with men sucking themselves off all of the sudden? Is this the new planking?
Zdoggg 4
Honestly I didn't even know that was possible. Damn disturbing if you ask me
reject214 10
That guy is my hero. GOD status achieved.
daybar12 8
What's omegle?
rivaraven 35
omegle.com Place for mainly horny people. Kinda sick, actually.
KiddNYC1O 22
So I was curious and went on it after reading this FML. When I asked someone for their asl they said "18 female... No sorry male, but I can be female if you want." Just a benign sample of what goes on there.
osm1989_fml 6
Even if I possessed the proper anatomy to attempt this, I wouldn't. That's so gross.
rivaraven 35
Hah, my boyfriend gives me ******** good enough... But that's impressive.
fukmefreddy 4
Just tell him you were curious, and now you're definitely straight
perdix 31
Did your dad suddenly sign up to take 10 yoga classes a day?
PrussiaisAwesome 15
Wow...I kinda want to see that as well.
baby_frenchie 6
Ooooh, nigga, you nasty!
SpRiTzSpLaSh 7
Why in the world would you want to suck yourself off..
Dracoboxer357 36
77- Why wouldn't you, if you could? I jerk off because I can and it feels great....do you? ;)
challan 19
How can you seriously ask that question? If you never see me post on FML again, its because I've learned to lick myself. I will forever be to busy to do anything but that...