Today, when I was done masturbating to the thought of my crush I noticed my phone was lit up. I turned it over and stared in horror as I saw a call connected to him. I had been loudly moaning his name. I guess I hit his speed dial when I was setting my phone down. He was definitely still on the line. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I somehow managed to FaceTime my crush instead of texting him. I panicked, dropped my phone, then answered the call with an unflattering close-up of my forehead. FML
Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML
Today, my crush and I were talking on the phone and we were really hitting it off. We got on the subject of sex and I told him I have a purity ring. Then he suddenly said he had to go and hang up. FML
Today, I got my crush's phone number. I started texting him and once I told him who it was, he stopped replying. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a FaceTime. Busted. FML
Today, my crush asked to use my phone so he could Google something. Flattered that he wanted to use my phone, I agreed. After he was done, he handed it back with a weird look. I later realized he had found himself in my top searches. FML
Today, I got a text from my crush. In my clumsy attempt to quickly grab the phone, I knocked it off the kitchen counter and cracked the screen. After driving to my friend's house so I could put my sim card in her phone, I saw that the text said, "Who is this? Stop texting me." FML
Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML
Today, I accidentally called out the coworker I have a crush on’s name in bed instead of my wife’s. The thing is, thinking about her is the only thing that will keep me hard and brought to orgasm. FML
Today, I woke up after having had sex with my 4-year crush expecting to find him in bed next to me. Instead, I found my cell phone with a text message from him that said "you should really do something about the pimples on your ass." FML
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Top comments
aelabed 17
Need a follow up on this
inappropes 31
At least he knows you like him(alot). Now make the move to ask him out lol.
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Comments (38)
SteelSoul5 9
Wow lol
royr7395 30
Why is your crush on speed dial tho?
buckdharma 38
If his name is Henry then you got off easy. Ask him if he wants some of your Oh Henry bar. It would also explain why you were talking about nuts and fudge, and stuff.
ajh1800 25
Tell him that you accidentally called him and when you noticed, you decided to make the most of it and turn it into a joke. Then flip it on him for how long he stayed on the phone
Regulate 21
Sure.
Hippo_Holiday 19
(Amused Tuba player in the background)
saberjpg 6
I don't buy it. I think you did it on purpose. Now you are executing the other half of the plan which is faking embarrassment and apologizing profusely. But he knows you like him, without you having to tell him. If he doesn't like you back, well, it was an accident. If he does like you back, then, well, it was a good thing that "Accident" happened.
hellphone_fml 37
im thinking siri maybe heard the name and called him
mekiswrite 21
Say your crush is another guy with the same name as him?
wickedgetz 30
I'm sure he was doing the same to the sound of your moaning
Venke-Lill Nygård 8
yeah, need a follow up on this xD