Today, I, along with two cops and another paramedic, had to fight to pin down some total scumsucker. He was high out of his mind on god knows what, in his underwear, screaming like a maniac outside someone else's house at 2 in the morning. I don't get paid nearly enough for this shit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while working third shift alone at a gas station, I had to deal with a crazy guy tripping balls and asking me if it was okay to bring a gun into the place. I don't get paid nearly enough for this. FML
Today, I called the cops on a couple who was fighting outside my window at 4 a.m. They hid in the bushes when the cops came, came back out when they left, and started fighting again. FML
Today, after a long day at work, I fell asleep in my living room. When I woke up, I saw a man leaving my bedroom wearing my pajamas, and I started screaming as he casually left. The cops came and apparently he's mentally ill. He truly believed it was his house. FML
Today, in a 2-hour period at work, I had to talk to the cops, clean up shit and clean up vomit, yet none of these events were related. The worst part is, I work as a lifeguard and none of this is in the job description. FML
Today, while on patrol with my partner, we came across a guy getting a beat-down on the sidewalk. After restraining the attacker, we helped the victim to his feet, only for him to spit at us and call us "goddamn pigs". You're welcome, sir. FML
Today, the cops showed up at my work because people were fighting in the parking lot. This is a nightly occurrence. FML
Today, a customer passed out in the bathroom, so we didn't realize he was there until after closing. I don't know what he'd shot up, but whatever it was told him he should run around naked. It's been two hours and the cops still haven't shown up. I can't leave until he does. FML
Today, I'm just a simple librarian. Last week, we had to call the cops on two separate aggressive patrons. Today, I had to call the cops yet again. WTF? FML
Today, as an Ambulance Technician, I dealt with a man who had too much LSD. He urinated on my boot and spat on me multiple times, thinking he had dragons in his mouth. I put a mask on him and he took it off so "the dragons could escape." My wage is lower than if I were working in a supermarket. FML
Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML
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Top comments
who_even_cares02 10
Nobody gets paid enough to deal with that
Ravensmoon666 19
Well at least he's now in a place where he can't harm himself or others. Keep up the good work Op. :)
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Comments (49)
saffy66 34
Sounds like another ice junkie.
Ravensmoon666 19
Well at least he's now in a place where he can't harm himself or others. Keep up the good work Op. :)
MisterKnowItAll 15
he's living life to the fullest.
SpyroMello 29
Yes, because getting high off shit is "living the life."
thatguynamedsky 32
we know it's a joke, is it a bad one?
laden_swallow09 35
^^ Yes. Definitely a bad one.
ubeenbagged 6
hopefully you're being sarcastic
who_even_cares02 10
Nobody gets paid enough to deal with that
bandaidstations 28
At least he didn't try to eat your face off.
likeableme 9
He must have been on that Molly
jmsouthe7 3
I know how you feel OP. Except i wasn't a cop, and the person who was high was my brother.
Silver7827 14
OP isn't a cop either.
Dick_diamond 22
Try
JayGatsby 25
Why is #31 downvoted? I thought OP wasn't a cop either because the FML says "another" paramedic.
tanziir1 14
By the sound of your stress I think you need the same shit that the guy was on
Anony2014 10
Meh, he doesn't need to be the reason for someone else's FML. Some "medicinal" pot should be plenty...
MdMan2 23
He must've had a wild night. :)
jay_south 19
I've heard some places they are now giving ketamine to calm people like that down because nothing else works. Glad you all got to go home that night.