Today, as an Ambulance Technician, I dealt with a man who had too much LSD. He urinated on my boot and spat on me multiple times, thinking he had dragons in his mouth. I put a mask on him and he took it off so "the dragons could escape." My wage is lower than if I were working in a supermarket. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML
Today, I, along with two cops and another paramedic, had to fight to pin down some total scumsucker. He was high out of his mind on god knows what, in his underwear, screaming like a maniac outside someone else's house at 2 in the morning. I don't get paid nearly enough for this shit. FML
Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML
Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML
Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML
Today, I got projectile-vomited on while trying to administer meds to a patient. Twenty minutes later, a patient with schizophrenia threw his shitty diaper at my face. All this happened in the first hour of my 12-hour shift. I didn't bring any extra scrubs and I live an hour away from work. FML
Today, I was riding the subway home after a long shift at hospital. I accidentally made eye contact with a sketchy dude for a split second. He launched a wide spray of spit at me. At least I was wearing scrubs. FML
Today, in a 2-hour period at work, I had to talk to the cops, clean up shit and clean up vomit, yet none of these events were related. The worst part is, I work as a lifeguard and none of this is in the job description. FML
Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML
Today, while on my graveyard shift at an inner-city backpackers lodge, a drunk pissed in a dorm at 4am. I had to clean up after him, wash all the luggage that got dowsed, clean up 2 separate piles of puke, and help 3 drunken Brits back to their room while they abused me. I have a science degree. FML
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Top comments
Rusty Armstrong 13
I hung out with some ambulance drivers while we were taking an inmate to a hospital. the inmate was making more at his work release job than they were. I felt too bad for them to tell them how much I was making. as expensive as an ambulance ride is, they really shouldn't screw over their emts. They literally save lives on the regular
RichardPencil 32
You can always get a job in retail where the customers are much more rational and polite.
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Comments (8)
Charlie Given 28
I thank you for your work but that kind of job sucks and places like Target and Meijer start at like $20 an hour maybe it's time for a career change you'll still have to put up with assholes but a lot less of it
RichardPencil 32
You can always get a job in retail where the customers are much more rational and polite.
jfigley 5
What the hell retail jobs have you had? You are lucky unless you are full of shit...
Kaylie Holliday 3
Hence why i left EMS
juggalo2 22
Why haven't you applied for a supermarket?
BLVCK_DVDDY 7
Sorry but I’m an EMT and it’s the job we signed up for. YDI for the fact that you can’t expect to deal with normal people in EMS
Chelsea Schattner 9
Yes but they should get paid to their skill level. My 15min ride in an ambulance that only required the emt to jot down my info cost $2,500.00 and yet the emt only gets paid $12hr. That's straight up BS.
Rusty Armstrong 13
I hung out with some ambulance drivers while we were taking an inmate to a hospital. the inmate was making more at his work release job than they were. I felt too bad for them to tell them how much I was making. as expensive as an ambulance ride is, they really shouldn't screw over their emts. They literally save lives on the regular