Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at Tae kwon do practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear." He did this in front of all my classmates. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
Today, my dad told me to knock it off with my "stupid gangster walk", saying it made me look like an idiot. I didn't have the balls to admit I'd sharted my pants and was awkwardly waddling to the bathroom to clean myself up. FML
Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone fell silent as my dad began to pray for our meal. FML
Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML
Today, at the ripe age of 29, I pooped my pants. It was a little diarrhea and I had expected it to be a fart, so I quickly had to grab my shorts, waddling to the bathroom, commando. FML
Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea and had to go to the toilet. My mum texted me while I was still in the toilet saying, "We all heard you". FML
Today, it was my first day back to school after break. I wasn't feeling well, but I decided to go anyway. I threw up in the hallway and shit myself at the same time. I waited in the office for my dad to come and get me for almost an hour while wearing dirty underwear. FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
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Top comments
Susaluda 0
That sucks! Dads...
dreamer13 0
what a big dick!
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Comments (105)
paigeatsflesh 11
I honestly don't think that there gonna try that. sorry girly.
theeBeezWaXx 0
haha oh wow so not cool.
akstyle8615 0
well atleast you didn't shit your pants I remember tae kwon do days
Tigg3r 3
Haha, I do tkd to! What kind do you do? I do ATA. Yeah, haters, I'm just gonna ignore you so buzz the **** off.
Mariku_fml 4
omg the same exact thing happened to me at tkd a few years ago. sucks
Hut153 0
ur dad is hilarius! mine wud prob do the same thing tho!
skyeyez9 25
I'm in ATA too. I'm a 2nd degree black belt and certified instructor. 5-6 days a week I go and in better shape than most people my age and younger. Its great exercise and stress reliever.
skyeyez9 25
74: I remember a krav mcgaa instructor saying that during close combat, a person skilled with a knife can easily subdue/slice up a person with a gun. They showed a demonstration in class and it was pretty cool.
Darkhumor 0
ugh don't mention tkd in fml, it just turns into a huge testosterone-fest with internet "experts" bragging about their rank or their own martial art which is better etc etc I don't get why you couldn'tve hidden in a nearby toilet for the lesson, and why you needed your dad. I'd rather sit in a toilet for an hour until I felt better or until the lesson was over than accidentally "dirty" the car Or maybe its just the culture in my club where if you're sick you just sit in the back and try to learn by watching rather than going home (Unless they're clearly dying of something serious, in which case they need to be forced home) Unless if there was no toilet in which case maybe you should try another location. Emergencies happen, white pants don't hide ANY stain well unfortunately.
EveryDayJackAss 0
lol dad is win