Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at Tae kwon do practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear." He did this in front of all my classmates. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
Today, my dad told me to knock it off with my "stupid gangster walk", saying it made me look like an idiot. I didn't have the balls to admit I'd sharted my pants and was awkwardly waddling to the bathroom to clean myself up. FML
Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone fell silent as my dad began to pray for our meal. FML
Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML
Today, at the ripe age of 29, I pooped my pants. It was a little diarrhea and I had expected it to be a fart, so I quickly had to grab my shorts, waddling to the bathroom, commando. FML
Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea and had to go to the toilet. My mum texted me while I was still in the toilet saying, "We all heard you". FML
Today, it was my first day back to school after break. I wasn't feeling well, but I decided to go anyway. I threw up in the hallway and shit myself at the same time. I waited in the office for my dad to come and get me for almost an hour while wearing dirty underwear. FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
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Top comments
Susaluda 0
That sucks! Dads...
dreamer13 0
what a big dick!
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Comments (105)
TattedDownJah 2
snicker WTF are u an English major or something
droppintacos 0
uhm, shut upsnicker we didn't ask for your corrections, your an idiot and no one on here likes you, u stupid little girl.
uberchic 0
did it smell?
Metafiction 0
I remember my first taekwondo practice... lol
benen 0
lol
yea_or_no 0
oh shyt! lol
tazshalis 0
fail
Imnewhere 21
off topic, but I take thai kickboxing. the instructors are brutal when u don't get it right. I had welts on my shins for weeks.
Fedor_is_KING 0
You're right 25, shin splints ******* SUCK.
juicy_extasy 25
haha! Poor you =( FYL
perdix 31
Wow! You get scared shitless at practice? When's your first match? I'm bringing my noseplugs and my video camera.
Fedor_is_KING 0
Make sure you YouTube it after perdix.
ButtNekked 0
I think the laxatives her dad fed her the day before played a huge roll.
perdix 31
That's a given, Fedor. Especially when I slo-mo the spray coming out of the leg of her dobok while delivering a Chuck Norris-style roundhouse kick. I might then repeat it several times in fast-forward and reverse.
Fedor_is_KING 0
Sweet, add some tech music to that video I think you'll get a million plus viewers easy.
perdix 31
If I get flying turdlets, I'm on Tosh 2.0 for sure!