Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at Tae kwon do practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear." He did this in front of all my classmates. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
Today, my dad told me to knock it off with my "stupid gangster walk", saying it made me look like an idiot. I didn't have the balls to admit I'd sharted my pants and was awkwardly waddling to the bathroom to clean myself up. FML
Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone fell silent as my dad began to pray for our meal. FML
Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML
Today, at the ripe age of 29, I pooped my pants. It was a little diarrhea and I had expected it to be a fart, so I quickly had to grab my shorts, waddling to the bathroom, commando. FML
Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea and had to go to the toilet. My mum texted me while I was still in the toilet saying, "We all heard you". FML
Today, it was my first day back to school after break. I wasn't feeling well, but I decided to go anyway. I threw up in the hallway and shit myself at the same time. I waited in the office for my dad to come and get me for almost an hour while wearing dirty underwear. FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
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Top comments
Susaluda 0
That sucks! Dads...
dreamer13 0
what a big dick!
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Comments (105)
crukestal 1
Did you poop in his truck?
Lisa89 3
poor you :*( FYL.
mylifeisover1305 0
45- lol
acrippledkoala 0
haha ur dad is awesome!!
snowpatrol_fml 0
isnt this a repeat?
Daederoth 10
If you were to ask me, your father did himself a disservice. I am confident an oportunity to pay him back in kind will present it's self if you wait for just the right moment.
julie206 0
Hey everyone, thanks for commenting. I posted the fml a couple of days ago, but it looks like FMyLife changed it for it to be funnier, since I posted it when I didn't have an account. Actually, I wrote that my dad went to my taekwondo class and told my instructor and my fourty classmates that I wasn't attending that day because I had diarrhea. Yup, FML. Wanna know his excuse? "Since you're getting physically tougher, you gotta get mentally tougher". Thanks a lot dad. But since we go to the same taekwondo class, I took my revenge two days later. I kicked his ass off the following class. Who's ******** her pants out of fear now, daddy? LOL thanks for the comments.
epound28 0
OP is a fag.
De_Bri 16
I did Tae Kwon Do with my dad too. He never said anything like that though but I still kicked his ass at sparring. Instead of embarrassing me he kicked me in the head during a no contact fight. He kind of deserved it. :P I'm glad you got your revenge on you dad OP. It's hella fun.
suckmineplz 0
yeah same here btw ur cute
IMTHEGREATEST 0
alright, I've been in tkd for 4 years and never once shit myself. I can't be the only one
mclulu11 0
this is somthing MY dad would do!