Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML
Today, I decided to call my wife while she was having a private lunch with my parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through my fantasy, she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML
Today, my husband and I were having sex. It was stormy outside, and when lightning flashed through the window, he screamed like a little girl and scrambled off the bed. FML
Today, I was trying to give my girlfriend an orgasm as she was lying on her back. I asked her, "How do you like that, baby?" She responded by asking where I bought my suspended ceiling and spotlights, as she thought they would look good in her flat. She apparently got bored instead of turned on. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, while fingering my girlfriend in the dark, I tried to be sexy and licked my fingers. After we turned the lights back on, we realized that her period had come early. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
Today, my wife and I got frisky in the living room, completely forgetting we recently gave our adult daughter access to our home security cameras for safety reasons. The cameras didn’t see anything but she now keeps making fun of my orgasm noises, which apparently she found hilarious. FML
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Top comments
flirtyfaery 7
at least she has a sense of humour
Doortje 30
This is the story you'll later tell your grandchildr-- wait, you have to actually have sex in order to ever have grandchildren.
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Comments (94)
sjmd15 0
that's hilarious :p
kweenbitch 0
who honeymoons at home? cuz I'm pretty sure if you were honeymooning at a hotel/resort/ect they wouldn't allow you to install the clapper no matter the reason.
sallen0046 4
There's no installation involved. You plug it into an outlet, then plug whatever you want to operate into it. You don't need permission to plug something in at a hotel or resort.
ameliabeth09 0
Ooooo so trying that tonight!
ameliabeth09 0
Kweenbitch it is just a plug that you put on the wall haha...
Jess_4602 0
I think it's a very funny story but I don't understand how a clapper is romantic.
MattCA 0
lol that's awesome
rockerkid33 2
sounds sweet to me
MmmBabycakes 0
* slap slap slap slap slap *
alaskankid907 9
lol that's what I was thinking.
2112mike 4
blue balls :S
ilovesa4eva 0
I believe this may be the funniest thing I have ever read. lol