Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said, "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML
Today, I went to the beach. I was in the ocean and I looked over my shoulder and saw a big black spot. Knowing that there were big crabs on the beach, I screamed. Everyone in the water heard including the lifeguards. It turns out it was just my shadow. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom blow-drying my grinning dad's pubes. FML
Today, I went to the beach with my boyfriend and family. My sister coyly pointed out the scratch marks down his back, hoping to embarrass me in front of my parents. The marks weren't from me. FML
Today, I was at the beach walking on the boardwalk without a shirt on. Two cute girls are walking my way and I decide to try and impress them by flexing my abs. While I flexed them, I accidentally let a fart out that everyone heard. Everybody, including the girls, laughed hysterically at me. FML
Today, I walked in on my Mum and Dad having sex and didn't even realize what they were doing until she shouted at him to go harder. FML
Today, I was chatting with my boyfriend and his mates barefoot on the grass. I suddenly felt something flick across my feet, so I let out a startled scream. Turns out it was my toe hairs rustling in the breeze. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where we had some great crab legs. Later tonight we drove down to the beach and started messing around. He started touching me... with his hands still covered in salty crab juice. FML
Today, I was taking a shower outside at my fiancé's beach house. I was struggling to take my bikini bottoms off, so I started to walk backwards to step out of it. Little did I know that I had pushed the door open. My fiancé, his family, and my family all saw me bend over naked. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML
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Top comments
illmatic2 16
I hate it when parents say gross stuff like that.
airball33 0
Hahahaha that awesome at least they have a sense of humor
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Comments (157)
0opsie 6
grow up, you can handle it. at least your parents are still fond enough of each other to mess around like that.
MartinFootball 0
thats nasty
ynnhoj 2
if that ain't love then i don't know what is
aback 5
They were just kidding. They don't have sex. You were adopted.
mimii92_fml 0
hahaha umm ewww. I know how you feel. my parents so gross stuff when I'm nearby too.
thedopetroll 0
I bet your mom got crabs from that grimy fisherman she has been having an affair with.
theycallmeMimi 0
Ew, your dad has crabs? That in itself is nasty, let alone talking about it in public!
skatergirl323 0
now thats just nasty
dominos028 0
YUM! ugh I just had crab for dinner =[]
Erindub 0
Get over it though really OP. Your parents sound really cute together