Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
Today, my bike abruptly stopped working, torpedoing me headfirst into the sidewalk. I lay there in agony for a few minutes, and the only guy who saw it happen said, "Lucky you didn't get hurt!" FML
Today, I was taking a leisurely stroll through the woods in the nice cool weather, when a mountain biker came out of nowhere and tore past, barely missing me. As I counted my luck, another biker followed the first and crashed right into me. FML
Today, I got hit by a car while going out for a jog. As I writhed on the floor in pain, I heard the driver say, “Sorry!” and the sound of tires squealing. He’d sped off. I didn’t get a chance to get his license plate. FML
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML
Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML
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Top comments
jetsown08 21
Hey, at least he didn't threaten to sue afterwards.
TheDrifter 24
Oh bollocks. There goes your dream of repopulating the earth in your image this afternoon.
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Comments (116)
uhnevermind 24
Why did I imagine this as a rage comic? Either way, FYL OP.
TREEBISCUIT 3
Of course this post is from the states.
daps29 11
That's a huge meenie :(
DaGrimRetard 8
lol, hit and run. but still fyl
DuRpY 5
This, and the post awhile back where a cyclist threatened to sue the OP because he rode his bike into a pole after slapping OP in the face, are reasons why motorists and pedestrians unite in their hatred for cyclists.
happyconverse 10
That's horrible!!! People should be more considerate of others!!! What kind of world do we live in?!?!
hateevryone 15
At least he didn't laugh, but he was wrong though.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Is that considered a hit and run? Bikes don't have plate numbers (or even plates for that matter) so I don't know how you'd catch the jerk. I'm sorry but I laughed so hard at the "thousands of potential children" part. :D Your life sucks for sure but that cracked me up.
jwally726 0
Business end of a bicycle?
davidm200 6
nope..... better than getting ur nuts RUN OVER!!!