Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
Today, my bike abruptly stopped working, torpedoing me headfirst into the sidewalk. I lay there in agony for a few minutes, and the only guy who saw it happen said, "Lucky you didn't get hurt!" FML
Today, I was taking a leisurely stroll through the woods in the nice cool weather, when a mountain biker came out of nowhere and tore past, barely missing me. As I counted my luck, another biker followed the first and crashed right into me. FML
Today, I got hit by a car while going out for a jog. As I writhed on the floor in pain, I heard the driver say, “Sorry!” and the sound of tires squealing. He’d sped off. I didn’t get a chance to get his license plate. FML
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML
Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML
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Top comments
jetsown08 21
Hey, at least he didn't threaten to sue afterwards.
TheDrifter 24
Oh bollocks. There goes your dream of repopulating the earth in your image this afternoon.
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Comments (116)
WhyCantIDoRight 5
I would have ran up to his bike, Knocked it over and slashed the tires. But of course, That's just me.
tonyxc600 2
If I were you, I would grab a rock from the ground, knock him off his bike, smash it into a twisted piece of metal right in from of his eyes, then throw the entire heap onto his head before walking off.
gregorygreg87 12
Wow, that's ******.
emmalululover17 0
Wow what a ahole
yenidewi 11
hahahahhahahahaa ... you are so funny ... :)
anxietydisorderz 6
The guy on the bike is a total JERK! I would've helped you up and apologized! I hope you feel better =0)
xRezSynn 15
Welcome to Society, OP. Get used to it.
SunshineBoy_fml 16
That's hilarious! Oops. Hope you get to have another million kids!
withered 30
He did not "kill a hundred million" of "your potential children". It's not like you'd have them. Not to mention you "kill" them every time you **********. Don't see why you had to include that BS in the FML.