Today, I opened the bathroom door and it broke my wife’s little toe. As revenge, she ruined the ending of Assassin's Creed that she had gotten me for Christmas. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while demonstrating to my wife how I broke my big toe, I broke the little toe on the opposite foot. FML
Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML
Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML
Today, it's my wedding day. I broke a toe on the couch while turning on the lights in the hotel room. FML
Today, after being fed up with my sarcastic, mouthy daughter, I decided to remove her TV from her room. I dropped it on my foot and broke two toes. She promptly said, "That's what you get." FML
Today, I hit my toe against a table. Out of frustration, I kicked the table and broke my little toe. FML
Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML
Today, my wife ruined the gift I got for our 10 year anniversary by opening a package that was clearly addressed to me, finding the custom made necklace, and started wearing it straight away. I didn’t even know it had been delivered yet and boom, right there on her neck two weeks early. FML
Today, after a long day of working on my feet, I came home looking forward to soaking my aching feet in a foot spa. When I was pulling the machine out of a closet, it slipped and came crashing down on my feet. It broke. So did three of my toes. FML
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
All's fair in love and war. And I think you've just gone to war.
storm74 9
How hard did you open it!?
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Comments (17)
BurnInDemonFire 39
All's fair in love and war. And I think you've just gone to war.
RichardPencil 32
A relatively light punishment for domestic violence.
storm74 9
How hard did you open it!?
fjvitt 14
Oooh...next she’ll hide your skateboard...
acmariner99 25
Sounds like she got it worse.
tounces7 28
She got revenge for an accident?
lowshadows 21
assassin's Creed sucks ass anyways
tarabella 7
Yyeaahhh... That's far worse than a broken toe. You poor poor thing. I'm being sarcastic, just in case you can't tell. Jackass
Dave_Davington 34
What's to spoil? Templars find alien mcguffin, player character swoops in at the last minute to save the day, alien recording shows up, everything's more or less reset for the next game. Also, some shit goes down in the modern day but no one gives a shit about that. Every single one of them has pretty much the same plot and ending.
BurnInDemonFire 39
******* hell, Dave... would it kill you to put a spoiler alert at the beginning of your comment? Or do I have to break your little toe?
Dave_Davington 34
Yes it would, as a matter of fact. It just so happens that I'm deathly allergic to spoiler warnings.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Spoiler Alert: I don't care.
Sinshine 28
Did she play the game she got for you and finished it without you knowing about it or did she go out of her way to research the story just to ruin it for you? In a separate note: I'm surprised there's people who care about the story of those games. I love them, but generally only for as long as I can do whatever I want. Once I actually have to do the story to progress, it usually becomes a chore until I can do my own stuff again.
Nhayaa 21
I care about the story. I usually don't do all the secondary quests but now you have to if you want to level up enough to continue the main quest so... I still don't do the ones in the water though, unless it's in the main story and I'm forced to. Yerk.