Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
Today, my bike abruptly stopped working, torpedoing me headfirst into the sidewalk. I lay there in agony for a few minutes, and the only guy who saw it happen said, "Lucky you didn't get hurt!" FML
Today, I was taking a leisurely stroll through the woods in the nice cool weather, when a mountain biker came out of nowhere and tore past, barely missing me. As I counted my luck, another biker followed the first and crashed right into me. FML
Today, I got hit by a car while going out for a jog. As I writhed on the floor in pain, I heard the driver say, “Sorry!” and the sound of tires squealing. He’d sped off. I didn’t get a chance to get his license plate. FML
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML
Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML
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Top comments
jetsown08 21
Hey, at least he didn't threaten to sue afterwards.
TheDrifter 24
Oh bollocks. There goes your dream of repopulating the earth in your image this afternoon.
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Comments (116)
olpally 33
Sounds like a family guy episode in real life... A few episodes have some random guy come running out of no where and stab Stewie and run off... lol. What a jackass!
aileen15 15
lmao true it does sound like that
zandalee 20
Take to your bed for the rest of the day with copious amounts of chocolate and a good book.
outoftown 27
And frozen peas. Don't forget the frozen peas!
sigreen42 3
What a dick...he must have never experienced a nut shot before, because any normal guy would've sympathized and at least apologized for it (assuming he was in some kind of a rush)
rcgirl2 11
Hopefully he ran into a pole like the other guy on the bicycle did.
mollysticks 10
You don't have to worry about getting anyone pregnant anymore!
olpally 33
...so you're going to get revenge for op? How heroic of you... :D
Dogluvr1197 30
He was probably really embarrassed! Still, karma's going to come back and bite that guy in the ass.
CammyGal 26
Or even better, in the balls
LadySigyn 17
Ouch, I am so sorry OP, get some ice on that!
l23VIVE 17
Where is Karma Man when you need him? Opally you remembered to shine the Karma-Signal didn't you?
gracehi 33
Karma is going to **** that guy... Hard... In the ass... With a twelve inch dick... Around.
jetsown08 21
Coach Sandusky, is that you?