Today, I was impressing dinner guests by spinning my new baby in the air (something she loves), when she projectile vomited over the dinner table and the guests. My wife, who had spent three hours cooking was not impressed. Once of the guests was also a sympathy spewer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my kids and I went to have dinner with a coworker. After everyone ate, the kids went to play while I helped clear the dishes. To my horror, instead of individually wrapping the kids leftovers, she scraped all the uneaten food back into the main pots. I wanted to puke on the spot. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML
Today, after I finished dinner, I was getting ready to wash the dishes, but first I needed to take my vitamins. I accidentally gagged myself and puked in the kitchen sink of dirty dishes. I had to clean vomit and the dishes. I vomited my entire dinner. FML
Today, I tried to cook a nice meal for my sister's friends. It turned out perfect and they enjoyed it, while I was in the bathroom throwing up for two hours due to food poisoning. FML
Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML
Today, I spun a two year old upside down, in circles. She wasn't remotely dizzy. I threw up on myself. FML
Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML
Today, I was bringing a table a bowl of soup at my waitressing job. A new customer taking off his coat threw his elbow out, violently knocking the soup out of my hands and onto his baby in a highchair. The baby screamed; I had a panic attack. FML
Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML
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Top comments
tick_tock 0
#8 I hope you are kidding because why on Earth doesn't he deserve to be a dad? He was just playing with his baby. I have pictures of my mother spinning me around in the air and it is something many parents do. Cut him some slack, honestly, at least he didn't drop her when she was vomiting.
ohhboyy 0
babies throw up all the time they're like mini drunks
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Comments (94)
NikkiGirl245 0
I agree with 38 and 31!!!! I think he's a great dad I do that to my kids and they love it!!! and if I were a guet I'd would love to see a father bonding with his baby i think it's great yea maybe bad choice of place but still how was he supposed to know? baby throw up all the time!! he's great! I put your life sucks cuZ it was NOT his fault he just made a great memory!!
smashingdiscover 0
People only projectile vomit when they have a head injury.
Ana_bitesz 0
Ive done this with my nephews and they love it. Nothings wrong with that. FYL.
DeadxManxWalking 27
One**
liv2ski97 4
Spinning, barfing babies- the ultimate weapon of mass disgustion
Momo_Moonlight 25
Impressing people by spinning your kid? Right.
JamesMago 12
thats one hell of a party trick.
Sinshine 28
How do you impress people with that? That's not impressive o.O