Today, my 5-year-old son made a drawing of our living room, with the addition of an apparition, and the text, "I can see you. Daddy doesn't see you. Who are you?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year-old daughter, and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy - I'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML
Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML
Today, my 16-year-old daughter handed me the picture she wants TV reports to use if ever she happens to get kidnapped. FML
Today, while visiting my mother, she asked my son who his favorite parent was. As a growing boy, he chose his father. I don't mind, except she then asked, "So, whose side are you taking in the divorce?" My husband and I have no marital issues. My son refuses to believe us. FML
Today, my 2 year-old son decided to pee on the dog for the second day in a row. I'm afraid this will turn into a routine thing. FML
Today, I found my daughter on Facebook after years of looking for her after the divorce. It turns out it was my ex pretending to be my daughter so she could track me down. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's one year old. FML
Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML
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Top comments
delude 26
Coming soon to theatres near you
Demon_of_Light 27
I'd recommend moving.
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Comments (22)
CrazyTrainWreck 19
Step 1. Gather your kids up and all cherished belongings 2. Places kids and items in car. 3. Burn house down. 4. Get the hell away from there
cdaspirit 15
Or leave everything including the kids they’re already tainted
CrazyTrainWreck 19
Well whatever your preference is
dickgamestrong 9
"they're already tainted" ******* golden lmao
skippydoda 32
I recommend salt and Sage.
rebeccabyram 15
Kids are more sensitive to ghosts than adults. Always believe the kids when this happens but if they say the ghost is nice, it usually is.
graayfox215 15
Call john constantine
Dale Gulley 8
My daughter use to say Batman lived *in* our walls and was going to bring her a blue diamond. All of us would see a child like shadow from the corners of our eye. Things like hair brushes would disappear, only to find them days later in the middle of our coffee table.
sarkycow 25
Im curious, actually I'm just a nosey twat! 😁 Did your daughter ever recieve a blue diamond? (or perhaps sapphire?).
psycobunnymamafox 13
Sounds to me like a "shadow person" they are harmless all the want is to be heard yes children are more prone to seeing them as well as ghosts unless they have bruising that comes out of no where you are fine. Sage can help but if it is a shadow person sage won't do anything.
interesting33 37
what is a shadow person?
Ele_68 3
I know it sucks now, but my two are in college now and I long for those days! I still have a dish my lil broke when she was 5. She tried to glue it back together, poor baby glued it back upside down! I also, saved a letter my son wrote me saying he hated me because he was still hungry! Unfortunately we moved from the house they lovingly “decorated” the walls using colors. Take pictures or a video and save for memories!
Ele_68 3
This was for another post! 🤦🏽♀️
Havinci 19
pleaaase post a picture of the drawing
supertacowaffle 41
I should stop reading FML at night.
ThoughtsofaDame 12
You have two options A.) you move now. B.) you assume your kid is just weird like all kids and don't worry about it.