Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I'd fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Today, I was sitting on my couch when I felt something weird underneath me. I got up, thinking I'd sat on my phone or something. Wrong. I'd sat on a live mouse. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I awoke to a strange feeling on my feet. It felt like a tongue, so at first thought it was the dog, but we don't have one. I looked down and it was my roommate. FML
Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML
Today, I was laying with my face dangling down the side of my bed, when my kitten rushed up to me looking worried. He sniffed me for a while, then decided the best thing to do was to stand on his hind legs and start punching my face like a speed bag. FML
Today, I was feeding my pets and playing with my puppy when I suddenly felt something behind me. My cat is on the arm of the couch steadily spanking my butt with his paw. I can't win! FML
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Top comments
enamis 3
Well, what was it!? You can't just leave us hanging!
TheCamoWulf 17
You either have a ghost of a decease animal or you have a weird burglar.
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Comments (89)
Life_sucks_13 6
That you know of. Live with someone else? They coulda bought it.
NPN_Scorpio 16
Something under the bed is drooling...
kacironi 13
well now you do
Lukas783 4
that awkward moment when you write a FML about it instead of looking under the bed with a cell phone and 911 on speed dial...
BriannaMGK 15
It's more than likely a rat, which is really gross!
ashjo 12
What was it??!!!!!
poklomo 5
Who you gonna call GHOSTBUSTERS!!
amifaiyaz 12
Oh come on, I just got over my fear of monsters under beds!
buckdharma 38
op you stink. If shit can smell you that aint even there its time to bathe your dirty ass.
lorraineald 7
"People can lick hands too..." ^ Creepiest urban legend ever. I'd really look into that hand sniffer of yours.