Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store. Before I knew what was happening, he'd sniffed me and started whimpering about how I don't smell like I used to. He does this kind of crazy shit all the time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend leaned over and sniffed me like a dog. He does this almost every day, even in front of people sometimes. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend, who broke up with me the day before yesterday, got a job at my workplace. He shows up dressed his best clothes, clean-shaven, and with perfume. For the 10 months we dated, I only saw him in baggy tops, sweatpants, a weird beard, and the smell of sweat. FML
Today, I discovered my new plug-in air freshener smells exactly like my ex-boyfriend's cologne. My friends noticed this, and nobody will believe me when I say it smelled different on the scratch-and-sniff. Now I'm considered a creep. A nostalgic, obsessed creep. FML
Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend at a grocery store. We haven't seen each other since we broke up a few months ago, and when he introduced me, he called me by the wrong name. We dated for three years. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend on campus. Upset, I decided to go to McDonald's to eat my painful memories away. While in the drive-thru line, I realized my ex was right in front of me. It looked like I'd followed him all the way from campus. He thinks I'm a stalker now. FML
Today, after recently breaking up with my boyfriend, I unknowingly washed my laundry using his washing tabs. My whole wardrobe now smells like my ex. FML
Today, I ran into an old friend of mine at the store. All was going fine, until she showed me her new fiancé. My now ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store, holding hands with his very pregnant girlfriend. They were buying baby supplies. We had a very nasty and painful breakup not even three months ago. FML
Today, I ran into my shitlord of an ex at the store. He took one look at me, yelled, "You cheating bitch!" in a wounded voice, then walked away, fake-crying. I got so many dirty looks. The worst part is that I dumped him last month for cheating on me with my "best friend." FML
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Top comments
A07 48
Totally explains the 'ex'.
ermagherdaturdis 26
It sounds like you should be glad to have broken up with him.
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Comments (47)
DarkStorm2Bad 14
Tell him that you'll smell however you want to, fart on him, and then tell him he'll smell however you want him to as well. In all seriousness, though, this guy sounds like a major whack job. Should you ever bump into him again, run fast; run far!
speakfreely 21
Now we know why he's your ex
stpierre120 1
I obviously liked the weird shit at first. I'm weird not that weird but weird is a good thing
valmiranda 9
Maybe hes half dog?
donutcallmethat 16
What is with the exes that turn crazy and loser-y after the breakup? Embarrassing.
miriamfrank 22
Sounds like a no contact order may be a good thing.
NateHQ 13
Maybe its because you use a different lotion than he had you use before putting it back in the basket. Buffalo Bill is quite particular like that.