Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "Recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my dad for the first time. She politely asked how he was doing, and he responded, “Still vertical. Still annoying people.” Then he winked at her and said, “You poor thing.” I wanted to melt into the ground. FML
Today, my boyfriend invited me for dinner to meet his parents. Turns out his stepmother is my gynecologist. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, my mother, her fiancé, and I were having dinner together. My mother was joking that she wasn't sure she could hold him down, as he used to "get around." She turned to talk to the waiter and my future step-father looked me up and down and winked. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML
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Top comments
Drew167 8
Well your dad seems very friendly.
tennisrapper1 14
He is one creepy fellow...
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Comments (155)
jaketheford 0
That's the funniest thing I've ever read, seems like a line from a really cringey comedy. Just me? Hmm could be the weed. Or the Fruit loops
Amethyst888 14
It's definitely the Fruit Loops. Because everyone knows that Fruit Loops work better than weed. More colorful hallucinations! :)
hockeyoceancity 13
Someone has the munchies?
TarieBoo 2
Man stop blaming everything on the gotdam weed-.-
xXRazelleLuniiXx 9
Is this a new meme? Because on another FML, some other guy left a similar asshat comment concluding that they were high. If so, I no longer hold any faith in this generation.
im_too_pro 2
61, weed doesn't cause hallucinations like colors and the like. But nice try. Educate yourself about what you're talking about before you start stuff
mhopper 13
Creepy! I hope she had a sense of humor and laughed
ManInTheMachine 20
Oh please, OP. I'm sure you've been doing done recreational gynecology yourself, your girlfriend the loyal patient, hmmm? Like father like son. ;)
ManInTheMachine 20
Where did the done come from? I need a new phone, preferably with an 'i' in front of it....
pokefan813 16
To be honest, I didn't recognize it untill you pointed it out... I think I have serious problems xD
unknown_user5566 27
24- You were just trying to write a comment Cajun style.
maxisis_fml 6
Whoa there! That's ummmm an interesting hobby
flockz 20
that is now my new pick up line! it replaces my old one, "baby are you dirt? because i want to fill you with my seed."
challan 19
I haven't heard that one before, and I thought I've heard them all. Lmao My personal favorite is, "Baby, do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a foot long?"
FYLminerocks 7
79, you sure about that?
peachesncreem 21
Response to that ^ pick up line: *looks down at guys crotch area* "Foot long? I doubt it's even a 6 inch."
peachesncreem 21
Response to that ^ pick up line: *looks down at guys crotch area* "Foot long? You sure? I don't even think that's a 6 inch in there.."
esines 9
Response to that ^ response Stop trying
nickyjp 17
You're*
loserboii 11
I'm sure he did it just to mess with you, or her.
TheHeavyOne 15
I'm sorry that's just funny, lol. Therefore, YDI.
starflyer59 17
he deserved it because you thought it was funny? um......…
mrphychrs 5
make sure u get a perternity test on ur first child. sounds like your pappa is fond of your gal
aaghmylife 9
My redneck alert is shooting through the roof. "Perternity"? "Pappa"? "Gal"?
outstandtacular 11
Uhhh... Awkward...