Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "Recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my dad for the first time. She politely asked how he was doing, and he responded, “Still vertical. Still annoying people.” Then he winked at her and said, “You poor thing.” I wanted to melt into the ground. FML
Today, my boyfriend invited me for dinner to meet his parents. Turns out his stepmother is my gynecologist. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, my mother, her fiancé, and I were having dinner together. My mother was joking that she wasn't sure she could hold him down, as he used to "get around." She turned to talk to the waiter and my future step-father looked me up and down and winked. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML
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Top comments
Drew167 8
Well your dad seems very friendly.
tennisrapper1 14
He is one creepy fellow...
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Comments (155)
Harpy20 24
Your dad sounds cool. You should aim to be more like him. Or at least TRY and loosen up a bit.
UltimateGIRness 16
I hope he was just joking around op.if not you might need to keep her away from him
horseraddish 4
How does your mom feel about his "recreational" behavior?
radwanov 14
what an ironically humorous comment #98 :P
alexisss429 0
creeper
boobear90 3
I hope he's a dilf @ least omg :-/!
the_anti_hipster 7
I shouldn't have laughed as hard as I did at this. I can feel the awkward through the FML and I'm thanking the Flying Spaghetti Monster that wasn't me...
CrazyManNo9 29
Yeah, it was funny. He has a goofy sense of humor!
eragon2262 6
hahaha that's funny. fyl simply because now your girlfriend probably thinks you're dad is a wacko.
Ririshi 0
If only he gave her a weird wank...
man2watch 0
Haha, that's great! He's a hero!