Today, I took my 8 year-old nephew to Laser Tag for his birthday party. I reluctantly was forced into playing one game. Apparently, no one explained the rules to one child, and instead of 'shooting' me with his laser pointer, he kicked me straight in the balls. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML
Today, I was babysitting an eleven year-old boy. He decided we would play with Nerf guns with Velcro tips. I shot him in the crotch accidentally, and the dart stuck to his pants, and he wiggled it for about a full minute before his dad walked in to find us both staring at his son's crotch, giggling. FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
Today, my 14 year-old son asked to join my buddies and me at the gun range. The second I finished the safety lecture and handed him a pistol, he started twirling it on his finger (thankfully, it was unloaded). I smacked him in the head and took him home. Now he's moping and sulking like a bitch. FML
Today, my nephew kicked me in the balls, again! And he got me fair and square this time. It's the fourth time he's got me in the balls since the pandemic started. I have to put my groin guard from college on and teach him a lesson because he won't listen and he's 12, so he knows what he's doing. FML
Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML
Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML
Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML
Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew, who told me he learned about fire safety today. I asked him what he'd do if there was a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell over, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML
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Top comments
lainzilla 14
That isn't how you play laser tag?
chasin_butterfli 0
Did you at least get to shoot the little turd?
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Comments (89)
clos14 0
hey this guy said he hatd america help me show em who rues by spamming him 678-389-0028
ShadowlessSpear 21
Excuse me?
meatkilla73 0
people still play laser tag?
kych2010 0
Lol
HermonieGranger 0
lol, indeed!
Aspie 0
You have just lost The Game.
hedgehogs 0
If I had been hosting the party, I would have called his parents to pick him up. No more party for anyone who does that.
anela_fml 0
whyyyyyy lie to your therapist they can't tell any one?!!!
anela_fml 0
stupid copy and paste I tried to write (anything to score)
hedgehogs 0
Nooo, not entirely true. They are obligated to notify anyone whom you've threatened with physical violence and (I think) also law enforcement. They are designated reporters when it comes to child abuse and neglect, at least in the U.S., meaning they have to call Child Protective Services in those instances.
deathcorp25 0
wow, this kid must've been pretty tall to reach your nuts with his foot...
stewie1744 0
or the guy was jus really short
FerrariCake 2
What do you mean "explained the rules"? Kicking in the balls is perfectly legit in laser tag. Whatever it takes to win.
blastvortex 4
Yup. Being kicked in the joy department is a good way to get some hits in. No blood means no foul, though the kid's parent(s) deserve a profound beating, but you can do that later.
JustDial911 0
ouch. that hurt